Sovereign Grace | All is Well

May all my Days….

February 1, 2021 By Shelly Durkee

What could she have possibly been thinking?

What led the woman that we read about in Luke 7:36-50 to break all cultural and social norms, in what had to have been the most awkward of scenes? What led her…no, not strong enough…what compelled her to burst into the home of the Pharisee, where she knew she was not welcome – where she had to have known that her actions would only heap more shame and ridicule upon her than what the consequences of her sinful life had already wrought?

She could have been tossed out. She could have been laughed at – or, worse, I wonder if her actions could have put her in grave physical danger, or if she could have been arrested.

That she would take this chance – this step of outrageous risk – screams only of one thing – desperation for hope. For mercy. For grace.

For salvation.

I think that the words of actual reaction of coming into the presence of Jesus confirm her wretched desperation:

“And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment.” (Luke 7:37 & 38)

I am nearly certain she did not plan out this type of reaction – why would she have? It’s embarrassing. Humiliating. There she was…all eyes on her…and all she could do was weep. Hot tears of shame and ruination and hopelessness rained down upon the feet of the only one who could redeem her – the only one who could save her.

It was startling for the dinner attendees, certainly. But I can’t help but wonder if her reaction startled herself. I can’t help by marvel at the idea that perhaps the only person in the room not shocked by her reaction…….

…….was Jesus.

This morning in worship, we sang a song that somehow has escaped me until this past week. The title of it is “O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” by Sovereign Grace….and I very nearly can’t get through either listening or singing the song without the words catching in my throat and my soul becoming overwhelmed.

Each word of this song, seems to capture so perfectly what Jesus has done in my life, that I can barely sing this song, without weeping.

Our pastor also preached from the passage from Luke this morning, detailing for us the picture of what took place at that dinner. That exposition coupled by the lyrics of this song reminds me all over again, the beautiful story of redemption.

And, exactly what it is that Jesus has done, for me. And, for you.

Without the shedding of His blood to pay for our sins, we have no hope of salvation.

Without His mercy, we have no place before the throne of God.

Without His grace, we can not even begin to fathom just how desperately we all need Him.

Without His grace, I can not grasp even the smallest understanding of just how desperately I need Him, and how merciful and kind and just He has been in my life.

As she knelt there and dropped tears upon Jesus’ feet, while wiping them with her hair and anointing Him with oil….in the very midst of her desperation and shame and ruined life, there is a line that gets to me every single time that I read it:

“Then turning toward the woman…..”

Jesus was addressing Simon and the others in the room – He was teaching them a very critical and crucial lesson about who He was, and who they were. Yet even in the teaching moment, His eyes were on her.

He saw her.

He was clearly laying out that all the book knowledge and rule following and pious, self-righteous judgement served only to deepen the chasm between themselves and Jesus…while this woman who had sinned much, yet who had also grasped on with a desperate, white-knuckled grip to the truth of who Jesus was in those love-pouring, tear-soaked, faith-grasping moments – Jesus turned to her, saw her – and forgave her.

She could go in peace.

Oh my soul, that peace of knowing your shame and sin and sorrows are borne by the Son of God…who knows you, and loves you – there is no other peace that compares to those moments of realization.

In the busyness and stress of each day – how easy it is to forget just how desperately I need Him. I default so easily to independence, cynicism and stubbornness. I forget, at times, to be absolutely stunned and astonished by what was accomplished for me, on the cross. I let the worries and fears and anxieties and sorrows and griefs of this life, control me so easily – when instead I should overwhelmed by the truth of who he is, so perfectly captured in the lyrics below –

He is the greatest treasure of my longing soul.

He is my faithfulness, my refuge in the night.

My Jesus is the “….Gracious Savior of my ruined life….”

And He alone broke my bonds of sin and shame.

May all my days, bring glory to His name.

O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer
by Sovereign Grace

O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer
Greatest treasure of my longing soul
My God, like You there is no other
True delight is found in You alone
Your grace, a well too deep to fathom
Your love exceeds the heavens’ reach
Your truth, a fount of perfect wisdom
My highest good and my unending need

O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer
Strong defender of my weary heart
My sword to fight the cruel deceiver
And my shield against his hateful darts
My song when enemies surround me
My hope when tides of sorrow rise
My joy when trials are abounding
Your faithfulness, my refuge in the night

O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer
Gracious Savior of my ruined life
My guilt and cross laid on Your shoulders
In my place You suffered bled and died
You rose, the grave and death are conquered
You broke my bonds of sin and shame
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer
May all my days bring glory to Your Name

Undone

August 28, 2016 By Shelly Durkee

We were ruined in Your presence
And tearing at the seams
Our eyes had gazed upon the King of kings

~ Undone, by Sovereign Grace

Undone.

I like that word.

It fills the space of trying to describe two very real things:

The state in which we all find ourselves, at one point or another, in life.

Surely, dear reader, you have found yourself undone, at one time or another. I know I have. I know that there have been times in my life, when I just could not possibly take another step. There were times in which my soul–if not my very mind–was so fractured and wrecked that I could not see past the next breath. I knew those moments as a child, facing the reality of evil for the first time. I knew those moments in the middle-of-the-night nightmares that steal my breath and sleep to this day. And, I absolutely knew that moment in the days following my husband’s arrest and subsequent sentencing. And, I have known the state of being undone since then, as I’ve walked this road of single parenting.

It’s terrifying.

It’s choking.

It’s exhausting.

It’s wrapped in a sense of hopelessness.

And, in those moments, it can be so very hard to sense God’s presence. To sense that He sees. And that He knows.

And, in those moments, it can also be very difficult to accept and trust His sovereignty.

But there is another definition, or application, to the beautiful word “Undone.”

You may be asking, first, how I can describe the word “Undone” as being beautiful, in light of the list above. Terror, and exhaustion, and hopelessness–those are not “beautiful” words.

And I would agree with you. You are right. They are not beautiful words. They are hard words that create chaos in our lives, and in the lives of those we love. But there truly is a sense in which being “Undone” can be a beautiful thing…..

……because, when we become “Undone”–when everything is stripped away in a Job-like manner and there is nothing left, and when we recognize that truly, we are Undone, it is then–and only then–do we see that He is our only hope.

And in those moments–our “Undone-ness” shifts much like the earth shifts, in the midst of an earthquake.

Our “Undone-ness” shifts from being “Undone” by the terrifying darkness, to being “Undone” by and before the One who is the only light that dispels that darkness, as we learn in John 1:4-5:

⁴In him was life, and the life was the light of men. ⁵The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

It’s that moment when we recognize that He, alone, in His sovereignty, not only sees the circumstances that threaten to bring us to a state of being undone and unable to take another step, let alone that next breath–He sees that. And knows. And grieves on our behalf.

And then, He acts.

Maybe not in the way we wish He would. He is not Santa Claus. He is not some Genie in a Bottle. We wouldn’t worship Him, if He were! We are selfish, sinful creatures. We would make out our self-centered, selfish Wish List, much like we did each year as children, when the Sears Christmas Catalog would appear in our mailboxes in November: and we would never be satisfied.

No, He may not give us what we beg Him for.

He may not take away the nightmares.

He may not take away the chronic illness. Or the cancer. Or repair the marriage. Or provide you with that better-paying job.

But–oh, my soul–He is not idle. He does not abandon. He does not sit in silence, though it most certainly seems to be that way sometimes.

He does not forsake.

But He does demand that we trust Him. He does demand that we worship Him. He does demand that we acknowledge that He. Is. God.

And we are not.

And, when we come to the end of ourselves, and bring our undone souls to the foot of His throne, He then does exactly what the lyrics from the song “Undone” by Sovereign Grace tells us He will do:

But You were rich in mercy
To provide what You demand
And now on Christ, the solid rock, we stand

We have not the ability to exercise faith that He is who He says He is, apart from His mercy to provide that faith to us. We have not the ability to worship Him, apart from His mercy to put the song of worship in our souls and upon our lips. And we have not the ability to acknowledge who He is, apart from His mercy to show us He is God.

And, in those moments–we become Undone by who He is.

(To purchase this and other great worship resources, please visit this site: Sovereign Grace Music)

Good Stuff; v. 8

November 30, 2015 By Shelly Durkee

linking

Thanksgiving is over; and the Christmas Season is upon us. My tree is up, my nativities are on display, and Christmas Music is playing pretty much 24/7.

Dear Reader, I hope your Thanksgiving was as beautiful as it was for my crew and I. And, if instead it was a yard year, please know that you are loved deeply by God Emmanuel–the God who is truly with us. I wrote some about that, last night, which you can read Here, if interested.

And, now for this week’s Good Stuff:

From John Piper: Dawning of Indestructible Joy

Last week, I shared with you a Christmas devotional resource from Gordon-Conwell Seminary. This week, I”d love to share with you a resource from John Piper–his book The Dawning of Indestructible Joy. You can download this book as a free resource from DesiringGod.org. It is designed as daily readings to carry you through from 1-Dec till Christmas day, but I sat down and read it pretty much in one setting last year. Piper, as always, challenges us to stretch our thinking beyond the surface to dig at the rich soil of the story of Jesus’ birth.

From 22 Words: The Surprising Final Words of 35 Famous People

Ok, truly I do not know if this is historically accurate or not; however, if it is, it certainly is quite interesting.

From Sovereign Grace: Christmas Music: Prepare Him Room

I like much of what Sovereign Grace produces. But mostly I appreciate the fact that they make their resources widely available to churches and individuals, at incredibly reasonable prices. Last year they produced a Christmas album, and it is still tops in my Christmas rotations. My favorite song on the album is “He Who is Mighty”, which I had the privilege of singing with my girl last Christmas. Whew.

From OpenCulture: Learn to Code with Star Wars

20 days till Star Wars opens, and I assure you that my youngest boy probably knows how many hours that is. The people who occupy this house have Star Wars fever. OpenCulture shared a resource from the folks who brought us MineCraft–it is a beginning coding tutorial that incorporates Star Wars elements. Very nerdy; very cool.

Movies:

It’s time for Christmas Movies! Friday night, we watched It’s a Wonderful Life. Goodness, I love the cheesiness that is that movie. “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.” Watch it. WATCH IT. And, if you do–do not see the colorized version. This movie deserves to be seen in all its black and white glory.

Sermons: Hope

This morning, once again, our young pastor preached a tremendous sermon–today, it was on Hope; the focus of the first week of advent. Using the text from Exodus on the birth of Moses, his words caused me to see with renewed passion, the reason why I have hope this Christmas. If you are struggling to sense hope, take 45 minutes and listen. You can find his sermon at this link: Seaford Baptist Church

Books: The Great Christ Comet

We had such an interesting discussion this morning during our Sunday School class time, on the star of Bethlehem. Then tonight, I stumbled across a book on the subject, reviewed at The Gospel Coalition website. The book is too expensive for me to order right now, but I hope to be able to get it eventually.

Good Stuff

October 10, 2015 By Shelly Durkee

There has been some excellent content as of late. Stuff that I’ve filed away in Evernote, for review later, or words that have caused me to rethink things–sentences that have challenged me, convicted me, pushed me.

I thought that, tonight, I’d share a few items that have caught my attention over the last few weeks:

From The Gospel Coalition: Don’t Give them Hallmark Platitudes

Yes. Platitudes and Hallmark cards and cliches—these are the things that do not bring hope, or comfort, even, to those in the throes of despair. No, what people need, in their darkest moments, is Habakkuk. The truth of it. The author, Eric Raymond, lays out a roadmap that ends in salvation. Yes, salvation of the soul, but I would also say salvation of the mind. Habakkuk is a huge book for me; one I return to regularly, for all the reasons that Raymond lists.

From Lore Ferguson: Good Shepherds and the Good Shepherd

I like reading what Lore writes. She has a way of crafting words, that causes them to sink deep. In this post, Lore examines shepherding–what that looks like, and what it should look like for those who shepherd congregations. No, I am not a pastor, per se, but her words struck a chord as the head of my household, with the responsibility of shepherding my crew well. Important stuff.

From John Piper and DesiringGod.org: When Should We Pray for God to Take Us Home?

Piper’s words here cut a deep trench. All of them, but particularly the 5th paragraph down.

All who wander are not lost….

You would think that, with as much as I have traveled lately for work, that I wouldn’t want to travel any. And, there is truth in that–travel messes me up. I am gone again next week, and already dreading it. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the travel–exploring, experiencing new things, seeing new sights, meeting new people, eating new foods. Here are two articles that have me wanting to pack my backpack:

Train Ride Across America: Across the USA by Train for Just $213

So, how cool would that be? My kids have done this–they traveled from Virginia to Seattle last summer, via train, and then flew home. I’m seriously considering this, for next year. I would use it to spend a week or so seeing the country, while also using it for concentrated writing time. Amtrak even has a writing internship where they give free tickets to writers to travel the rails and spend time at their craft. I would never be chosen, but goodness, that would be the darn coolest thing.

Antarctica: How to Survive Winter in Antarctica

This isn’t a new article, but it is one that I recently dug back up to re-read. I want to do this. I want to hole up, in Antarctica, for a winter, and see the stars and the Aurora Borealis and hibernate in isolation.

Sermons:

I’m not sure what the title of the sermon was, but this sermon on Marriage, by our pastor, Michael Howard, was tremendous. Best sermon I have ever heard, on the subject. It was so hard to listen to, but also so important. I wish I could get everyone I know–married, single, widowed, young, old–to listen to this sermon. You can find the link here: Seaford Baptist Church

Also, this on Psalm 22: Why Doesn’t God Act the Way I Want Him To? contains solid words that remind us who God is–and the hope we can find when we approach God respectfully, but unfiltered and in complete honesty.

Upcoming Books of Note

I have two pre-ordered books that will be arriving soon. Very much looking forward to both:

Preparing for Heaven: What Dallas Willard Taught Me About Living, Dying, and Eternal Life by Gary Black

The Songs of Jesus: A Year of Daily Devotions in the Psalms by Timothy Keller

Music of Note

Here are some tunes I’ve come across, that I’ve enjoyed lately:

Far Kingdom ~ The Gray Havens

Not my usual style, but I’m quite taken with this song:

There is a far, far kingdom
There at the end of the sea
Where they know my name
And until that far, far kingdom
Calls me home
Oh, my soul, I will wait

Undone ~ Sovereign Grace

Sovereign Grace’s newest album dropped this week. There were only a couple of tracks on it, that really caught my attention. The song Undone is one of them, and may be something I introduce my church to in November:

We were ruined in Your presence
And tearing at the seams
Our eyes had gazed upon the King of kings

The other was their take on the hymn “Blessed Assurance”….it’s just pure joy to sing loudly to.

Movies:

I’ve not had any time for TV late–which is fine for me; I pretty much find TV to be a complete waste of time–but I have been to a couple of excellent movies. One of note is Everest. I saw it last weekend with my boy. I had read Jon Krakauer’s book “Into Thin Air” several years ago, so it was interesting to see it on the screen. Good grief, Everest is beautiful. Someday, I will go to Nepal.

Tonight I’m going to see The Martian. I almost picked up the book that it is based on in an airport bookstore this past summer, but didn’t. Maybe I still will….

Johnny Cash–I so love to listen to Johnny Cash. If you have access to CMT, there was a great documentary a few weeks ago–it was so, so good. You wouldn’t think that a documentary about a rebellious and broken soul would move a person to worship, but this did. You may be able to access the show here: Johnny Cash: American Rebel