Ezekiel 36:26 | All is Well

Here I Raise my Ebenezer…..

May 2, 2015 By Shelly Durkee

Come thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise

A Discordant Heart–a soul that needs tuned to the strains of grace. Grace that transforms the cacophony of a sixth grade middle school band into the resounding chords of the Philharmonic Orchestra. Grace that settles an unsettled mind and soul. Grace in the quiet presence of God, which in turn creates the awareness of the need for grace (imperfect though it may be) to be extended to others. Mercy, too. Mercy, too.

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

______________________________

Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
I’ll praise the Mount I’m fixed upon it
Mount of Thy redeeming love

A Mountain Worth a Steady Gaze–a gaze that does not look away from God, or resort to sidelong glances and brief glimpses, but that fixes upon the steadfastness and majesty and wonder of who He is. Without fear.

And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, ³⁸and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment….And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” Luke 7

______________________________

Here I raise my Ebenezer
Hither by Thy help I come

An Ebenezer Stone–a stone to mark not just an event of help, but the sense of presence that supersedes the facts of that help. Holy. Perceptible. Unmistakable. I pile my rocks, I raise my Ebenezer and say “You have helped; please help again, and help me to know that in the helping, You are real and you are here and you are good.”

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, “Till now the Lord has helped us.” 1st Samuel 7:12

_________________________________

And I hope by Thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home

A Home–a place to arrive safely at. A place to long for. A place to belong. A place where you are wanted and not cast off. Not thrown away. A place of laughter, peace, rest. Home.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:7

_________________________________

Jesus, sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood

A Rescuer of Wanderers and Strangers–the very concept of being thought of as worth being sought after, in spite of my ugliness and sinful-ness, for is nearly too overwhelming. The word “sought”, a form of seek, and a word that implies the active pursuit of one’s soul. That God would pursue us. That God would pursue me, a wandering fool. Nearly too much to bear.

“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? ⁵And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing…. ⁷Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. Luke 15:4-7

_______________________________

O to grace, how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be
And let Thy goodness like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above

A Sealed Soul–Bind it God. Bind our souls. Bind my wandering soul to thee. I have a tendency, an inclination, to wander. Off into cynicism. Often into doubt. Always into despair. I am disposed to not just wander but run. Far. Bind my soul to you with iron fetter, chain, shackle of your goodness. Help me to see your goodness. Help me to worship. Help me to stay put. Help me to stand fast.

²⁸I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. ²⁹My Father, who has given them to me,^[a] is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. John 10:28-29

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing~ Robert Robinson

Needing a Heart Transplant (Not for the Squeamish)

August 23, 2014 By Shelly Durkee

It’s been a challenging week.

I’m not completely sure why. Nothing major. A growing to-do list that never seems to reach the “To-Done” state. Anxiety over little things like bills, the upcoming school year, decisions that need to be made. A foot injury that I stubbornly and obsessively am refusing to allow me to slow down in my quest for a healthier lifestyle marked by consistent exercise. A readiness to see my crew back at school and being productive, instead of me getting frustrated that, as soon as their chores are done for the day, they instantly turn into slugs–as teenagers are prone to do. You know, the little things that make up life.

And a maybe a few bigger items. Like the realization that my amazing oldest girl will be 21 on Monday–and how much time has just flown by. And the realization that it’s been exactly 5 years this week since Jack’s incarceration…and all the memories and thoughts that drudges up (5 years? Really? Where have I BEEN the past 5 years?? Where did the time GO??) And, of course, the fight against skepticism and cynicism that has crept a bit more into my brain this week than usual.

So…a few challenges. But, in the grand scheme of things, they are just that: Challenges. These challenges—-along with the joys of spending time with my crew, worshiping with my church family, anticipating celebrating my girl’s birthday with her, seeing good results in the exercise and healthy eating choices I’m making, and rewarding work in areas that I’m passionate about and that God has called me to—–all of it combined is what this life is made up of. Joy, sorrow, challenges to overcome, challenges to face, meaningful relationships to relish and enjoy, good books to read, grief to experience, pain to endure. There is so much to life.

So much to experience. So much to feel. And “feeling” can be terribly frightening.

Feeling hurts some times. Even joy can be painful–the joy of watching your sweet babies grow up can leave a hint of pain in your life. But other pain is much deeper than a hint–other times pain can be gut-wrenching. Terrifying, even. When a loved one is sick and there are no answers. When a child makes wrong choices in their lives and you hurt deeply for them. When your marriage crumbles. When heinous crimes are committed, destroying families. When racial tension threatens to undo an entire city, such as Ferguson, MO. When Kurdish Christians are forced to flee or face death for not converting to Islam.

When our questions about God and pain and suffering become almost too much to bear.

And so we react, by not feeling. We react by becoming automatons. We react by returning to a heart that is stone cold. A soul full of skepticism, because we fool ourselves into thinking that skepticism is oh, so much easier. And way more intellectual. The smarter choice. Because if I choose to not feel, then I can’t get hurt. Not only can I not get hurt, I become completely absolved of any responsibility of doing anything to try to alleviate the pain that I see others around me in. I become completely absolved of praying for or caring for those who are hurting in Ferguson. Or in Iraq. Or next door.

And I can use my skepticism as a fancy, trendy tool to justify my doubt. To justify my cold heart.

How can I say all of this? Because I’m the queen of skepticism. I’m the queen of using doubt to push away both joy and pain. I’ve got a doctoral degree in holding on to my cold, stone heart, when God clearly longs to give me a heart of flesh.

In fact, He did give me a heart of flesh. It says so in scripture. And scripture is truth. In Ezekiel 36:26 we read:

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

How did God do this? Through salvation. Through the sacrificial death of his Son on the cross. Through forgiveness of my own heinous sins. Through His tremendous love for me.

So why, why, why do I try to return to that cold, stone heart time and time again? Why do I do that, when that heart of stone is gone. It is gone. It was dead, and now it is alive. I was dead, and now I am alive. Why would I want to return back to skepticism, to cynicism, to coldness? To protect myself from pain? To not have to do something about the suffering I see in the lives of those around me? To absolve me of responsibility to pray, and then to act?

Because if that’s why I do it, I’m a fool. I’m a fool, because in doing so, I miss out on the joy of watching God’s grace pour out time and time again both in my own life and in the lives around me. I miss out on the wonder of who my God is. And I do nothing to protect myself from feeling pain, because–no matter how much I try to return to the world of skepticism and cynicism, the truth is, God has performed the miraculous in my life. The heart of stone is gone. What beats in its place is a heart of flesh. One that feels, deeply. One that sees. And one that is called to act, not live a sheltered life under a thick skin of un-feeling. A thick skin of disbelief. A thick skin of not caring.

N.T. Wright, a new Testament scholar and brilliant thinker has said “It’s time to be skeptical of our own skepticism.” There is great truth in that statement. I know it full well in my own life. It is time for me, to be skeptical of my own skepticism.

I’m including a video below. It’s of a complete cardiac transplant. It’s bloody and gory, hence the disclaimer in the title of this blog. But it’s fascinating, too. Especially around minute 5:11, if you want to skip to there. Because it is at that moment that the transplant becomes complete. And the patient who previously was suffering from a diseased heart (dead) all of a sudden is the recipient of a new heart. A heart of flesh that is healthy, and alive and beating. Amazing. But no more amazing than the truth in reiterated in Ezekiel 11:19-20, which tells me:

And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, ²⁰that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God.

Plethora: A Normal Sunday, Maundy Thursday, 1 Corinthians 15:10, Getting to Teach and My Girl’s Surgery

March 29, 2013 By Shelly Durkee

I have several things on my mind tonight.

I figure the best way to relate them is to write them here–as briefly as possible. ;

Something I hadn’t thought about before

Easter is a very special time for me. It’s because it was Easter a few years ago that I settled my belief in a personal Jesus. The story of Thomas, found in John 20:24-29 struck my very marrow. I was Thomas, wanting evidence of Jesus “realness”. Wanting hard evidence that proved that Jesus was real. But then it hit me—I was different, therefore I was the evidence. God had made me different. I was no longer the hard unbeliever who turned to alcohol to numb the pain. No, I was different. My heart of stone had been replaced with a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). When Thomas saw the evidence–the nail prints in Jesus’ hands, he proclaimed “My Lord and my God!” And that Easter, I was able to say “My Lord and My God!”

But I read something today that caused me to think. Easter really is no different than any other Sunday. Here’s what I mean….each and every Sunday we celebrate the resurrection of our Jesus. Each and every Sunday. Sure, we give it a unique and special emphasis on ‘Easter Sunday”, but our hearts should be prepared for such worship each Sunday. But do we approach it like that? I know, being in ministry for many years, that the goal sometimes seems to be to “hit a home run” on Easter Sunday–in the worship music, in the sermon, in the attendance. But what if we approached each and every Sunday that way, expectant and praying for God to move. For people to become believers. For the miracle of the resurrection to be celebrated with exuberant joy and quiet contemplation and prayer?

Something to definitely think about.

Maundy Thursday

The Thursday during “Holy Week” is typically when Jesus’ last supper with his apostles is remembered. Some churches gather for communion together. I remember one Easter where the deacons dressed as the Apostles and reenacted the last supper. But in keeping with my thoughts from my blog Dying on a Friday, I’ve thought today what a last supper with friends would be like. The joy of being together. The grief of knowing that the end was soon. But what about this? What about sharing that last, intimate meal, with the one that you knew was going to betray you? Would I be able to love my enemy enough to do that? Would you? Jesus did. He sat there, knowing that Judas was going to betray Him. He served Judas the meal. He washed his feet! Even when Judas approached Jesus in the garden to do the heinous act, Jesus referred to him as “friend”. (Matt 26:50) Friend! The love that this required is overwhelming.

It’s beyond comprehension.

And yet the very next day Jesus gave His life for you and I. Out of obedience to His Father. Out of His love for you and I.

Sometimes I don’t know what to think about Paul.

I read a passage of scripture today that once again made me wonder about who, exactly, Paul was. His words, his writings are so important. So rich in doctrine and teaching relevant for the first century church and relevant to us today. But sometimes I just don’t get him. This was one such passage: 1 Corinthians 15:3-10. But I don’t want to get into that here, I’ll save that for another post. But I do want to focus on one scripture, and that’s 1 Corinthians 15:10; here’s the first part of it (though I recommend you use the link to read the entire passage in context):

10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain.

I’d never really seen this verse before. By the grace of God, I am what I am. And what is that? A believer in Christ. A worship leader. A single mom of four amazing kids. A divorcee. A victim, and yet an overcomer. A failure so often. A nerd. A writer. A hard worker. A person with many, many flaws. And who are you? Who are you? By the grace of God, you are who you are. And I am what I am. And this is what I want: that His grace toward me will not be in vain. That I will not live the remainder of this short life in such a way that His grace toward me was in vain. No. I want His grace in me to make a difference in this world. Do you?

Getting to Teach

I’m sure that you do, too.I’m so excited. I’ve been asked to teach a women’s Bible study this summer on the book of James. I don’t know if I’m more excited that I’ll get the opportunity to teach, or that I’ll get the opportunity to dig deeply into the book of James. Probably the latter, if I am honest. James is such a practical book about living authentically for Christ. Central is Faith. I am so looking forward to the privilege of learning and ministering this summer, on Tuesday nights. I hope many of you will join us on this journey!

Goodbye Google Reader

I’m sad that Google is pulling Google Reader. I’ve been a faithful user of it over the past few years. But alas, they are taking it away. So today I migrated to feedly.com. I’ll let you know how it goes. And along those same lines, I’ve added a couple of new pages….one that lists my favorite apps and tools for productivity and a page for Bible Study tools. I hope you’ll check them out and that maybe you’ll find something helpful there!

Bethany’s Surgery

Tomorrow is Bethany’s big day! She will undergo surgery at Riverside where they will do some reconstructive work on her airway and palate, as well as remove her tonsils and adenoids. We’ve discovered she has severe sleep apnea–this will help to lessen that greatly, causing her to get much more restful sleep at night. Also, she’ll be able to smell, to taste things in a whole new and different way than ever before. We are so grateful for God’s hand in this. Had Bethany not won the essay contest for free braces, she would not have had the MRI that diagnosed this potentially lifelong problem. God is merciful.

Please be in prayer for her. The doctor says she’ll experience quite a bit of pain for quite a long time, that recovery will be slow. She’ll pretty much be down and out for 7-10 days. But while she is nervous, she is also excited, and I’m excited for her as well. Even so, we would appreciate your prayers. For Bethany. For the doctor as he operates. For me as I wait. That’s one of the many downfalls of being a single parent–there is no one else to worry with you. 🙂 But seriously, I do appreciate your prayers as I take the next few days to care for my girl. I’m grateful for a job where I can work from home, so I can take care of her. We will miss Good Friday services, but I still plan on helping to lead worship Easter Sunday morning because my big girl has offered to stay with her that morning.

I love my crew.

Related Posts

Related Posts

Related Posts

Books we've read