All is Well

Before me, even as behind, God is, and all is well ~ John Greenleaf Whittier

Thou My Best Thought

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But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of
knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
Philippians 3:7-8

Another year is coming to an end.

Like most years, it was filled with joys and sorrows, laughter and tears, peace and grief, success and failure.

For better or worse, I typically end each year with reflection on what has been, and vision for what will be. I have a routine that I go through nearly each year – cleaning out emails, cleaning house, prepping for new routines…new ‘resolutions’. I buy new office supplies. I review and reorder my lists. I spend some time in prayer…some time writing…some time thinking.

I don’t know what 2024 holds for me or for my crew, in theory. Only our Sovereign God holds those answers. But here is what I anticipate will take place:

My two youngest will graduate from two different colleges – on the exact same day. My oldest son will probably get married. We may downsize our house. The grandbabies will grow and change and keep us all laughing. Our church will grow and expand its ministry. Ken and I will take a road trip to Ohio to watch the total eclipse in April. The country will slog through another election year. Work will be work – and I’ll remain grateful that I have a job, but also will work too many hours, too many weekends, too many exhausting projects.

And, my ex-husband will be released from prison.

It’s a lot to contemplate, here on the brink of 2024.

I think that all of the things that I know 2024 will bring have me clinging a bit more tightly – with white knuckles – to the old, stunningly beautiful Hymn “Be Thou My Vision”.

Originally an Irish poem, today we are most familiar with the English translation by Eleanor Hull in 1912. The words are a prayer – a pleading with our God, and a preaching of truth to our souls. When I have the awareness of mind to be able to sing the hymn while also truly contemplating the words, it nearly always takes my breath away; and I can think of no better hymn to lay out our Father’s feet tomorrow as we close out 2023 and welcome 2024 along with whatever it may bring.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Oh God – I need you to be my vision, because when I rely on my own vision, it is cloudy. My vision is like the first part of 1 Corinthians 13:12…I see through a mirror dimly. My vision is distorted, but your vision, O God, is clear. You see and know. I need your vision to be mine, in the coming new year.

Thou my best Thought – by day or by night. Nights are difficult – it is in the middle of the night, that my soul is the most unsteady. My thoughts run wild, the worry is like quicksand, the nightmares unrelenting. Please be my Best Thought; please give me the awareness and strength to run to you, to give thought to your goodness. Your kindness. Your grace and mercy and salvation. Guard my mind, God – make your presence my light in the darkness.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

I love knowledge. I love to study, to learn. But knowledge is far different from Wisdom. And my wisdom is minuscule compared to your Wisdom, your truth. God – be my Wisdom. Let me lay my soul open to the wisdom you provide us in scripture – be my true word. Help me to hunger for your word, and that the hunger is not just Bible Study for knowledge – but rather, the hunger to study is to draw closer to you. I ever with Thee. Thou with me. Thou my great Father. I thine own daughter.

Thou in me dwelling. Dwell; such a beautiful word. It conjures up thoughts of permanency. Thoughts of home. Dwell in me, O God – and draw me to dwell in you.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

I need this reminder, Father – you along are my inheritance – not the hours and hours I give to my job. Not the striving for empty praise from others. Not the craving of approval from any person.

No – it is you, only. You demand to be first in my soul. Help me to remember that. Help me to have the right perspective in 2024. Help me to acknowledge the treasure you are to me – priceless. Beyond value. Precious. Holy.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heav’n’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

God – I can hardly reflect…or sing…this last verse without finding myself in tears. This world filled with grief and sorrows is not our home. Is not my home. There will be a day – a day where there will be no more tears. No more heartache. No more doubt. No more nightmares. A day when we – when I – will behold your Glory not as through a mirror dimly, but rather in your holy presence.

We long for that day.

But as we wait in anticipation…we cling to the words in this old, old hymn…whatever befalls, dear God…whatever befalls in 2024…the joyful and the grevious, the bright days and the darkest days….

….still be our Vision, O Ruler of all.

Advent – Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus

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I love advent.

I love the lighting of the candles in the advent wreath each week.  I love the liturgy, and the scriptures and the beauty of it all.

But what I love above all, is what Advent points to.

Advent means both “arrival” and “coming”.

How beautiful is that, dear friend, when we reflect on our Savior’s birth…and long for his return.

We observe advent in commemoration and remembrance, of course, of Jesus’ birth.  The God-man who came to us, as a child, born to Mary, heralded by angels, visited by the lowliness of the shepherds, and the eliteness of the wise men.  He, who is sovereign, became man, and truly was Emmanuel–God with us, in all our human-ness:

God with us in our joys–surely our Savior experienced joy as He walked with his friends, and as He delighted in Peter’s goofiness and Thomas’ cynicism and John’s adoration.  Surely He experienced joy, as he ate with Mary and Martha and Lazarus, and as He raised the little girl who was dead. And we, today, gathered with our respective church families to light the Joy candle in the Advent wreath, lifting our voices together to loudly proclam “Joy to the World, the Lord is come

God with us in our griefs–surely our Savior experienced sorrow similar to that which we experience:  betrayal by friends, death of those He loved, rejection by the people, loneliness in the garden, and forsaken-ness on the cross. He knew tremendous grief in his soul as he walked this earth, and He is with us as we, too, experience the grief this fallen world drives into our own souls.

God is with us in our temptations–as we are taught by scripture that He, too, was tempted and tried–yet sinned not. He experienced temptations and is with us when we, ourselves, are tempated to sin.

God with us in our weariness–surely our Savior was weary and tired and worn by the cares of this world, and by the physical demands placed upon Him. He knew that deep weariness that settles into the bones. And friend, He is with us when we, too, are aching in a weariness that shrouds our mind and soul like a heavy blanket. He is there, with us.

Truly, He was Emmanuel.  He came as a child, born to Mary and Joseph, and was with us. Fully God and fully man – who died on a cross for our sins.

God with us, Emmanual.

But during Adment, my mind also often turns to the 400 years of silence that preceded His birth.  The period of time, between the end of what we consider to be the “Old Testament” with Malachi, and the beginning of the “New Testament” with the announcement of His birth – the time in history that was shrouded in silence….no new prophets…no new revelations about who God is. Unnerving, seemingly unending silence.

Silence….and longing….and silence….and waiting.

You see, for Christ-followers, celebrating Advent is not solely about remembering the birth of our Savior.

It is also this:  Our anticipation, and longing, and waiting for His return.  For His coming.

It is the Now, and the Not Yet.  He is with us, today, as our Emmanuel.  And we worship Him as such.  But there is also coming a day, when He will return; our Savior and Messiah; when we will see him face-to-face.

How I long for that day.

We recognize that in this Advent season. We raise our voices to sing “Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus”, but not just as a reflection of what Has come to pass, but also a plaintive soul cry heavy with both grief and hope: grief for the cares and sorrows of this world, and hope for what will come to pass, when these words of this time-stable hymn are fulfilled and we see our long-expected Jesus, the joy of our longing hearts, face-to-face.

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel’s strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a child and yet a King,
Born to reign in us forever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all sufficient merit,
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.By Thine all sufficient merit,
Raise us to Thy glorious throne
(Charles Wesley, 1744)

14 Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Emmanuel.

Isaiah 7:14

The God of Big and Small

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In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. – Psalm 95:4-5

Who is this God, who created the majestic snow-capped mountains robed in deep azure blues, deep royal purples and topped by a ribbon of sky that stretches across the horizon?

Who is this God, who commanded that the waters gather into vast oceans, at depths unimaginable, teeming with whales and sea lions, with dall porpoises and sea otters – oceans that ripple in calm wind and roil and crash when the storms unleash their fury?

Who is this God, who in unfathomable creativity made the tiniest of flowers that cling to the soil, robed in every color imaginable? Or who designed mushrooms in all shapes and sizes, and evergreens that drip with perfectly formed drops of dew in the early morning sunrise?

Who is this God?

We recently returned from a two week tip to Alaska, and I am still mulling over in my mind all that we experienced while there. Have you ever had an experience that was almost too beautiful…too sacred…to find words for? That’s where I’ve been with Alaska..I feel that anything I write will be far too inadequate to capture the beauty we witnessed in that land.

Knowing what to write about Alaska is also challenging. There’s so much I could focus on – I could share about the amazing time we had with our kid’s 84 year old grandparents who traveled with us – the laughter, the adventures, the conversations, the food…and did I mention the laughter? It was a time of making sweet memories.

I could focus on the gift God has given me, in a husband who is always up for adventure – who took great care of all of us – and who went along with my crazy itinerary, which resulted in 2,200+ miles put on our rental car – all of which he drove.

I could share all of this and more…but where I feel pulled to, is to share with you, dear reader, the glimpses of God’s holy characteristics nearly everywhere we looked.

The God of all Grandeur

In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. ~ Psalm 95:4-5

I’ve seen mountains before. I’ve been to the Rockies; I’ve driven up Mount Rainer. I’ve hiked in the North Cascades. I’ve stood at 9,200 feet elevation under a million stars and planets on top of Mauna Kea.

I’ve been in the depths of the earth – in Mammoth Cave and Carlsbad Caverns, where the air is damp and cool, where water seeps and drips creating otherworldly formations, and bats hang upside down waiting for dusk to fly from the mouth of the cave in search of food.

And I’ve sat alone on secluded beaches under brilliant blue canopy skies in Hawaii, with no one nearby, and stared as far out as my eyes could see, to watch the sun drop below the horizon in a burst of color.

All tremendously beautiful places.

But none of these places prepared me for the grand majesty of the mountains, the sky, and the sea in Alaska.

At times, while we were traversing the state, we would find ourselves absolutely surrounded by snow-peaked mountains – on every single side. We pulled the car over time after time, thinking that surely THIS stop would be the best view….only to hop back in the car, drive a mile down the road and find ourselves pulling over again —

–because the view was even better. Clearer. More heartstopping.

We also took a boat across the open sea in roiling waves – the day was stormy and grey. Most passengers stayed inside the cabin, away from the sting of the salt sea spray and the roaring wind that took your breath away.

Not so, I.

I found myself pulled to stand at the very tip of the bow as we rose and fell between the waves, when everyone else had sheltered inside. I didn’t want to miss a thing. My eyes longed to take in everything surrounding us – and, when we finally reached our destination, my heart quickened. We were at the foot of an enormous blue ice glacier, which cracked and calved with tremendous roars and thunderous sounds. A remarkable sight, that is difficult to describe.

In these moments of standing in the towering shadows of the magnificent ranges, or flying over the ocean swells, or being startled by every enormous crack of the ice as it fell into the ocean….I felt so, so small.

In a very, very good way.

In those small moments, my soul was overcome by awe of who God is – a holy reverence and fear of the one who created all the immense things that I can see – the sky, the mountains, the sea teeming with whales, themselves huge creatures.

In those moments, I was reminded that God is….God.

I lose that awe in the day to day. I forget that need – the command, even – to be still and know that He is God. I forget at times, in the fog and busyness of each day, that the God who rescued me from my dreadful sin, and from tremendously hard things – is the same God who breathed out his majesty into this world, forming the sky, the depths of the sea, the towering mountains. I even forget when I am in the middle of studying scripture; when singing worship, when praying from my soul.

When I am confronted with how small I am, and how infinite my Father God is…I regain spiritual reality. I am reminded that this is not my home – this big, beautiful, mountain-filled and ocean-laced world under the big blue sky, with all its accompanying heartache and pain and grief and sin and unspeakable things is not my home.

That what awaits is far better.

And the God who has formed the mighty, thunderous, majestic mountains and oceans and sky…is the same God who sees my small self, and loves me enough to give his Son, to die on the cross for my sins.

Grace upon grace, is what this is.

The God of the Small, the Tiny, the Fragile

The fascinating dichotomy that confronted me nearly every place we visited in Alaska was the juxtaposition of the massiveness of the mountains, sky and sea….and the infinitesimal details in the tiniest of living things: the flowers, the mushrooms, the drops of water clinging to evergreen branches. The small sounds in a hushed woods.

In many of the places we visited, we learned from park rangers just how fragile life is in the frozen tundra. There is a tremendously short growing season. Flowers that cling tenaciously to the soil are incredibly fragile. Their roots hold on through sheer grit and determination, battered by winds and eventually by snow and ice.

As I examined the tiny, delicate, beautiful flowers, the brilliant red berries, the green needles of the trees, and the brightly colored fungus growing on trees and forest floors, I was amazed by the intricate details. Each one looked hand-crafted; created with the utmost care and thought and love. I took many pictures of the mighty things – the mountains, the ocean – but I am sure that I took just as many, if not more, of the tiny…the exquisite…the intricate.

And in the same way that feeling small in the awe of who God is was good for my soul, so was this:

The same God who takes great care and attention to create the very tiniest of fragile and beautiful things, takes that same amount of care and attention in caring for my soul.

That same God…

….knows my name
….knows my thoughts
….knows my deepest joys and fathomless sorrows

…and loves me with a deeper love than I can ever imagine.

And when I am most fragile, it is only his strength that allows me to cling to him and to the truth and hope I find within scripture.

The beauty of creation points us towards our God. It reminds us of who He is, and who we are. It sets within us the longing for our forever home, when we shall be with Him.

There shall be a day.

And as those tiny alpine flowers cling to the soil, my soul would do well to cling to the maker of my soul, the one who sees and knows, the God of the mountains and the God of the tiniest seed.

“The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing — to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from — my country, the place where I ought to have been born. Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home? For indeed it now feels not like going, but like going back.” ~ C.S. Lewis

On That Day

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“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord,
and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.”
― Augustine of Hippo, Confessions

How deep does mercy and grace need to be, in order to buoy up a man and his family during the unimaginable stress, weakness and fears that come with the diagnosis of cancer….

How wide must the protection and peace of mind and spirit be in order to soothe a missionary’s mind and soul in the midst of an unexpected war….and one that their military daughter may be called to fight in….

How much justice and righteousness is needed to cover the pain of sin that destroys a family….a life…

How much joy must be gifted in the midst of overwhelming grief, to keep hope burning in one’s soul….understanding that, according to C.S. Lewis, joy is not happiness, but rather a deep longing for something beyond what this world can offer…a look to the day when there will be no more pain, no more sorrow, no more tears….

This morning in worship at Seaford Baptist Church (Seaford, VA) we heard a sermon on Hebrews 3…not by one of our pastors on staff, but rather from a church member who has served as a leader in many areas of his life – from the military, where he served as a combat leader, to his career as a medical doctor, to a leader in our congregation as a deacon, Sunday School teacher, committee member, and more.

What is a bit more unique in this situation is that a few years ago, this leader was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer…and we, his church family, have had the gift of coming alongside him and his family as they’ve walked this unimaginably tough road. We’ve also been given the gift of witnessing their undeniable and desperate clinging to our God in the midst of incredibly hard days.

So to be able to hear our friend share God’s word clearly, though through a voice weakend by treatment…through laughter and, at times, honest tears he shed in recognition of God’s hand in his life….friends, it was a beautiful thing. And every word pointed us to Christ.

I’ll attempt, very imperfectly, to summarize some of the rich treasures we were given this morning…but I urge you to take some time this week, to listen to the sermon yourself. You can view it here: Seaford Baptist Church – October 9 Message: Hebrews Three (Dr. David Kramer)

After introducting some background on the book of Hebrews, and setting the stage for us in terms of historical and literary context, Dr. Kramer led us to the application of the scripture in Hebrews 3 by starting with warnings against unbelief…against hardening our heart against our God…because a hardened heart will not be a heart at rest in God. It’s a warning I ashamedly need often, for my skeptical soul can trend too easily toward (sinful) unbelief – I often pray the words we read from the father with the epilectic son “I believe! Help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). We are warned throughout scripture against unbelief…against hardening our heart….including the passage we looked at this morning, in Hebrews 3.

A Rest for the People of God
7 Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says,

“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion,
on the day of testing in the wilderness,
where your fathers put me to the test
and saw my works for forty years.
Therefore I was provoked with that generation,
and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart;
they have not known my ways.’
As I swore in my wrath,
‘They shall not enter my rest.’”

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Heb 3:7–11). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

Following this timely (for me, anyway) warning, we moved into examining what it means to enter into God’s rest. We were reminded of two things – that we who are Christ’s are promised rest in this world. We are assured of this in Hebrews 4:11-16. Christ is our high priest. He intercedes on our behalf. Even if there are times in our deepest despair that we do not sense his presence, he does not leave or forsake us. Our only true rest is in Christ.

Dr. Kramer shared with us the immense comfort Psalm 94:17-19 has been to him over the past few years in the struggle against cancer. And O, my soul, these are verses I, too, have clung to so many times – not that I have ever endured the type of suffering our friend has…but in other grief-laden things this weary world has held for me. And for you, dear reader – these are words we can grab onto with a white-knuckled grip, when the ‘…cares of our hearts are many…’.

“If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.  When I thought, ‘my foot slips’, your steadfast love, O, Lord, held my up.  When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Ps 94:17–19). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

And then…there is this, friends…this source of comfort in this weary, war-torn world….The sense of joy we experience in the midst of times of great sorrow – of longing for what is to come.

It is the sweet, blessed assurance that there will be a day, when we will enter in eternal rest. When we shall see him face to face.

In the next life, we will have perfect rest in Christ for all eternity.

When Dr. Kramer will see Christ face-to-face.
When I will see Christ face-to-face.
When you, dear brother of sister who have placed your hope in our God, will see Christ face-to-face.

No more tears. No more sorrow. No more grief. No more illness. No more nightmares.

No more.

We closed the service out by worshiping together in song..in lifting our voices together to proclaim the truth that there will be a day – and Hallelujah – what a day it will be!

On That Day (City Alight)

I believe in Christ, risen from the dead
He now reigns victorious, His kingdom knows no end
Through His resurrection, death has lost its hold
I know on that final day, I’ll rise as Jesus rose

On that day, we will see You
Shining brighter than the sun
On that day, we will know You
As we lift our voice as one
‘Til that day, we will praise You
For Your never-ending grace
And we will keep on singing on that glorious day

What a blessed hope, though now tired and worn
We will spend eternity around our Saviour’s throne
Though we grieve our losses, we grieve not in vain
For we know our crown of glory waits beyond the grave

On that day, we will see You
Shining brighter than the sun
On that day, we will know You
As we lift our voice as one
‘Til that day, we will praise You
For Your never-ending grace
And we will keep on singing on that glorious day

Hallelujah, what a day it will be!
For at home with You, my joy is complete
As I run into Your arms open wide, I will see
My Father who is waiting for me

Hallelujah what a day it will be!
For at home with You, my joy is complete
As I run into Your arms open wide, I will see
My Father who is waiting for me
My Father who is waiting for me

On that day, we will see You
Shining brighter than the sun
On that day, we will know You
As we lift our voice as one
‘Til that day, we will praise You
For Your never ending-grace
And we will keep on singing on that glorious day

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