Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples!

Psalm 105:1

Well, the Duffer crew is having quite a week so far.

Yesterday I had an appointment with the gastroenterologist.  I’ve had an increasing stomach ache for about two weeks now.  Little did I know that they would absolutely torture me with the worst test known to man.  I’ve had this test once before, in an emergency room in Hawaii, when I first started having medical issues.  It was horrid.  So when they told me what they were going to do, I almost left yesterday.  But I let them proceed to put a tube up my nose and down my throat to determine bleeding and the presence of an infection. The results were positive.  Lovely.  But I’ve been given some medicine that already seems to be helping.  The best news is that having a stomach ache has meant less eating which has meant some pounds lost.  🙂  For that, I am grateful.

And then this morning, poor Bethany was hit with the stomach flu.  Badly.  AND our toilet quit working.  I had to use a rock to keep the flapper thing down so it wouldn’t keep running and would fill up.   And now Timothy says he is getting sick.  Mark is fine, and Keli and I are germaphobes.  I think she’s moving out for the week until everyone is better, and I’m bathing in hand sanitizer.

But in spite of this inauspicious start to our week, I am overwhelmed with gratitude tonight.  I’m sitting here resting after work, with just the lights of the Christmas tree on.  Bethany and Timothy have gone to bed.  Mark is doing his homework in his room, and all is quiet.  I’m looking at my Christmas tree and have an incredible sense of peace that comes from knowing that my God provides.

Many people were praying for us today.  And I could tell it.  Not because I could “feel” their prayers.  No, it’s more that I was I bolstered and encouraged knowing that we were being prayed for.  And I could slowly sense God’s presence as the day wore on.

And my church, Seaford Baptist, once again loved us by serving us–offering to bring food, offering to fix our blasted toilet.

So tonight, even though my crew is pukey and puny, Psalm 105:1 is truth for us.  We give thanks unto our Lord.  We call upon His name to help us to heal.  And we make known His deeds among us, through the people God has put in our lives.

We are truly, truly blessed.

 

Today is December 1st….the first Sunday of the month….the first Sunday of Advent.

I love the Christmas season…the lights, the traditions, the awe, the wonder.

And I love Advent.

Tonight before we each settle down for the night, we will gather around our Advent wreath and as a family, light the first candle.  As we sit in the dark under the glow of one candle, we’ll talk about what it means for the world to need hope.

I don’t do this with them because we are “super-spiritual”.  We are far, far from it.  But we’ve seen enough of life that I don’t want my crew to miss where their hope comes from.  Especially during this Christmas season.

Earlier this afternoon, as I prepared for what we are going to do tonight, I got to thinking.  I wonder if much of the world doesn’t realize that they need hope.  I wonder if much of the world isn’t so caught up in materialism and selfish pursuits, that they have no idea that they are living a life with no hope.  A life that is absent of the expectation that observing Christ’s birth brings.

I know I am guilty of living that way at times.  Of being so caught up in this world, that I forget my depravity.  That I forget my need of the hope that only Christ’s birth, death and resurrection can bring.

But I also know, in my soul, just how much I need that hope.  How much I long for it.  For I’ve seen what this world has to offer.  I’ve seen the destruction of evil, of death, of disease, of crime.  I’ve known the hurt of broken relationships.  Of abandonment.  I’ve seen my children cry for their father.  We need that hope.  We need that hope.

The good news is that, that hope is available.  It is real!  We see it throughout scripture, from Genesis to Revelation.  It’s called the gospel.  And it’s the only true hope that is available to the world.  The only true hope that is available to you and to me.

The verse we are going to focus on tonight is Psalm 130:5.  It reads:

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
    and in his word I hope;

What a beautiful verse.  Quiet.  Anticipatory.  Truth.

My soul is waiting this Christmas.  It’s waiting not for the birth of Christ, which has already happened, but for the fulfillment of time–the culmination of Christ’s birth and death and his resurrection that will ultimately lead to my forever home with Christ for all of eternity.

And in His word I hope.  Men fail us.  They lie.  They don’t follow through on their promises.  But God’s word is truth.  It is truth and it is in His word that we must hope.  It is in His word that we are told to wait expectantly this advent season.

May this be our prayer as we enter this season of expectation:

Father God, we wait for you.  Our soul waits.  In your word we hope.  We look toward this Christmas season, knowing that what we need–what we long for–is hope.  And that hope is available only in You.  Forgive us when we look for that hope elsewhere.  Make us aware–clearly aware–that you are our hope.  And our response can be nothing less than absolute adoration of your son, during this Advent.  Amen and Amen.

Today I was at Lifeway Christian bookstore browsing while my son got a haircut next door, I found the Holman Bible Dictionary–print edition–50% off, which made it only $14.99.  I’ve wanted a print edition of a Bible Dictionary, so I snagged it up.

When I got home, I thumbed through my find just enjoying reading some of the entries.  I know, how nerdy.

One entry particularly caught my eye.  The word was Ayyah.  The reason this word caught my eye is because a little girl that had been adopted from China used to call me this when she was very young and I would watch her or help with her.  It was what they referred to at the orphanage as a caregiver or nursemaid, and was spelled with one “y” instead of two, but pronounced the same way.

So of course I was naturally curious about the word’s Hebrew meaning and spelling.  I discovered that the word “Ayyah” means “ruin” or “ruins”.  Desolation, waste, torn apart.

Wow.  What a contrast.

This little one saw me as Ayah.  But what I really was is Ayyah.  My life has been torn.  Desolation has often ruled.  Despair has often been the norm.  My life has known ruin.

Before I met my God as my Savior, my life truly was Ayyah.  It was in ruins.  Ruins from my sin.  Ruins from my circumstances.  There appeared to be no hope for my life, just like the Israelites who had turned their back on God to follow other idols.  My life had been a wasteland.

In the Old Testament book of Hosea, his wife Gomer bears a child, and God tells Hosea to name the child “Not My People”.  What a strange name, a terrible name!  But God’s intent was to show the people of Israel that their sin had separated them from the Holy God–a position of despair and hopelessness.  And this is where I was–where we all are–before we come to know Christ as our Savior.  Our lives are Ayyah–they are ruins.

But God, in his mercy and grace, did not allow me to stay there in the ruins; in the Ayyah.  No, He showed Himself to me.  He pursued me.  And I came to believe and know that He was my Ayah, my caregiver.  In fact, we get a picture of this later in Hosea when God says :

When Israel was a child, I loved him,
    and out of Egypt I called my son.
2 The more they were called,
    the more they went away;
they kept sacrificing to the Baals
    and burning offerings to idols.

 

It was a restless night.  Not a bad night, just one in which my mind would not turn off.  I moved from my bed, to the short couch, to my recliner; and never was really able to fall asleep.  Fortunately I only have 4 reports to do today and one spreadsheet to create.   I hope to be finished with work by noon.

I typically would write a “Thanksgiving Post” listing all the things that I am thankful for.  However, I’m not going to do that this year.  There is too much that I am thankful for.  My list would be a mile long.  Because my crew and I are completely dependent upon our God, we’ve learned to be thankful for everything–big and small.  And the God of all grace continues to provide and meet our needs.  Maybe not exactly when or how we would like him to, but they are met nonetheless–in His timing and perfect way.

Take for instance yesterday.  Bethany called me from school yesterday, so excited she could hardly speak.  Her chorus teacher has arranged for her to have voice lessons with someone in town on an absolutely free scholarship.  Her teacher really thinks she has a gift and wants to nurture it as much as possible.  To say we were overcome with thankfulness is not adequate enough.

And so this year, because the “Thank You” list is so long, I’m focusing more on learning what thankfulness means.  It’s a part of my every day time with God, but so often I gloss over it like I’m reading a laundry list–not with the sincerity of gratitude that my God deserves for the grace He has extended to me and my crew.

That grace is hard to accept.  And yet without it, we wouldn’t be surviving.  But here we are.  And I am thankful.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says:

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God for you.

Paul seemed to master this; I have not.  All circumstances?  Even the evil, the hard, the ugly, the criminal?  The verse says “all circumstances”.  What would that look like, if I could get to a place where I could thank God for the pain.  What would it look like if I could get to the place to thank God for the suffering?  I can almost grasp it–I can almost grasp this concept now, but there was a time when this was so foreign to me that I rejected it.  But now I see how God has and is working to shape and mold my life through all circumstances, the beautiful and the ugly.  There was a time that I was adamant that I didn’t want the things that had happened to me in life to be “for something” or “for some reason”.  I couldn’t bear it.  But now I can.  I don’t want to waste my pain.  I don’t want to waste my suffering.

O, my friends, my heart is full of thanksgiving.  So much so that I can barely find the words to write about it this morning.  Psalm 7:17 sums it up best, I believe:

I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High.

He is righteous.  I am not.  He is grace.  I am not.  He is love.  I am not.  And therefore I will be grateful to the Lord, the Most High today.  I’m in the middle of putting up my Christmas tree (too early, but want to get it over with), and I imagine that today will be a day filled with singing once my job work is done and I can turn on my worship music, decorate the tree, and enjoy all the sweet and bittersweet memories with each and every ornament.

If you are reading this today, please know that I am grateful for you.  Your reading my ramblings is such an encouragement to me.  All I can say is a simple thank you.