2014 | All is Well

What a tremendous Thanksgiving my crew and I had this past Thursday! Such a fun day. Such an “easy” day to be “thankful” on.

Almost–too easy.

Yes, you read that right–“too easy”. It was easy to get up that morning (I actually slept in till about 7am) and do prayer and scripture work to start the day. It was easy to wake my crew up and pile together with them on the couches to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. It was easy to put the meal on the table, give “Thanks” as a family, and dig in to a sumptuous feast. It was easy to play games with them all day long. To laugh, hug, tease, eat some more, and finish the day with a movie. It was, all in all, a very easy day. And, in that easy-ness, it was easy to give thanks.

There is nothing wrong with that. At all. God delights in the kind of “Thankfulness” that says “God, I am overwhelmed by all the good you have done for me. I am overwhelmed with the grace you have poured out on my life. I am overwhelmed by your love of me, and the love you have given me for my crew. I am thankful.” He delights in joyful thankfulness of “good gifts” given to us by our Father–an appreciation of all He provides.

And, it is good that we set one day aside each year, as a nation, to pause and be thankful. Because, honestly, without that day I’m not sure we would set aside dedicated times of thankfulness. But we should. I should.

But what if we dug deeper? What if we pulled out a shovel and really dug deep into the soil of our soul to the bottom of who we are, and found gratefulness there? More than just rattling through Thanksgiving in my prayer time each day. I’m talking “Broken Thankfulness”–The Sacrifice of Thanksgiving.

“The Sacrifice of Thanksgiving” is a phrase I’ve run into in scripture a few times, which has always made me stop and think “What does that mean? What does that look like?” This year, I decided to prod that notion a bit deeper.

We find it in Psalm 50:20 and 50:23, where we read:

Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving,
and perform your vows to the Most High,

The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me;

Our chief aim–the reason we were created–is to glorify God. So, if that is truth, then it stands to reason that we should offer thanksgiving as a sacrifice to God, but what does that even mean?

I think we find the answer in the very next Psalm–Psalm 51. It is there that we read what the sacrifices of God are; a sort of definition, if you will:

¹⁷The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

A broken spirit. A broken heart. A contrite heart. Over sin in our lives. Over sin in other’s lives. Over evil in this world. Over the hurting and the suffering.

Here is the key: We can not cultivate a gratitude for God’s grace, until we cultivate a realization in our souls of who we are and who He is. We do not deserve His grace. We have done nothing to deserve His mercy. Yet He gives it, because He loves us.

This should make our soul both break in contrition and soar with thankfulness.

Earnest Thankfulness. A Sacrifice of Thanksgiving.

I can’t believe Thanksgiving is next week.

In fact, when I got off the plane last night in Newport News, there were Christmas decorations up in the terminal that weren’t there when I flew out on Monday. I don’t know why, but they caught me by surprise.

Thanksgiving is THIS WEEK. Wow.

There is much wonderful about Thanksgiving. There is time to spend with family. There is–hopefully–a day off of work for many. There is pumpkin pie and turkey with dressing. And, there is “Thanks”.

So, what is “Thanksgiving”, really? There is all sorts of fascinating Thanksgiving information over at History.com. Check it out; you’ll find everything from really cool infographics to Thanksgiving videos. But, what does it mean to give thanks?

Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk who died in 1968 wrote this:

“To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything He has given us – and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him.

Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God. For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference.”

I love this—“every moment of existence is a grace…”

And this—“For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience.”

And, I know these things to be truth.

I know God is good. I know He is good not because of the prayer “God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food,” although that is truth. I know He is good, not because I have been told He is good through sermons–though those sermons have reinforced this truth in my mind and soul. I know He is good, not because someone echoed back “All the time!” when greeted with the words “God is good!”

I know God is good, through experience. Through joyful, awe-inspiring experiences. And through gut-wrenching, grief-producing experiences. He is good.

It is why I use as a banner across the top of this website the quote by John Greenleaf Whittier: “Before me, even as behind, God is and all is well.” In His very being, He is good. I know He is good.

It has become customary to share things you are thankful for at Thanksgiving–the holiday naturally issues an invitation to review the past year and to name these things. A very good thing. And, of course I could list dozens of things that I am thankful for. Dozens upon dozens. But, I thought I’d take a bit of an unusual slant this year:

Shelly’s Not Typical Thanksgiving List

Words

Words make up much of my daily life. Words, in the form of Scripture, teach me who God is. Words help me reason out all there is in my brain and soul. Words in books teach and entertain me–they are my friends. I use words all day long in the writing I do for my employer–I provide a living for my family through words. I am grateful for words.

Parenting Challenges

Parenting is not for cowards. It’s not. You bring home this tiny little fragile bundle and you worry about germs and food and childhood illnesses. And then they get bigger, and you worry about their driving, their minds and their souls. Parenting doesn’t get easier as they get older, it just gets different. Harder in some ways. And, it’s not easy. When the decisions and challenges come in parenting, it can be overwhelming. But in those decisions and challenges, we are given opportunities to love our kiddos in ways that may be absent if there were no challenges. Also, we are pushed to place our parenting before God and ask for His help, because often it is beyond us. So completely beyond us. I am grateful for parenting challenges.

Loneliness

There is a loneliness that comes with being a divorced, single parent. A sort of dark pallor. Yes, my children and near and I absolutely cherish my time with them, but there is still an isolated loneliness. There is much missing. Much. Yet, while I would never wish this loneliness on anyone, I am thankful for it. I am thankful for the empty silence loneliness, because it forces me to be more keenly aware of God in some ways. More aware of His presence, because my heart aches for that presence. I am thankful for loneliness.

Calories

As I’ve re-learned this year the discipline of healthy eating and exercise, I’ve come to appreciate calories in a whole new light. I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with calories. I loved them, because they provided comfort. And then I hated them, because I was afraid of them. Now I respect them, because they are fuel. They provide the energy I need to do the things I need to do. When viewed correctly and treated accordingly (making wise choices), they work as they were designed to. I am thankful for calories.

Christian Rap/Hip Hop Music

I don’t like rap music, but I’m thankful for it. I tried liking it; I did. I bought a couple of Lacrae and Shai Linne tracks. I hugely appreciate the truth that they proclaim. But I just can’t acquire a taste for it. Classic rock, yes. Hard rock, yes. Classical music, yes. Bluegrass, yes. But Hip Hop/Rap? Not so much. This white girl can’t break it down. That said, Rap/Hip Hop is still music, and I am grateful for music. I am grateful for Christian Rap/Hip Hop Music.

No Heat

This one is very specific to tonight–we have no heat in our house tonight. The repairman left a couple of hours ago–the house heater is broken. We rent our home from a wonderful church, and I know they will be working hard to get us a heater. I have no doubts about that. But, goodness, it is cold tonight. I am thankful for this chilliness, though. It reminds me that not everyone has shelter or warmth tonight. My heart aches tonight for the homeless, or for those with inadequate heating, or the inability to pay their heating costs. I am thankful for the reminder to take nothing–absolutely nothing–for granted. Nothing. I am grateful for no heat.

Spiders

I used to really, really not like spiders. I’m still a bit creeped out by our 8 legged-friends, but I’m slowly learning to tolerate the little (or big) buggers. They eat other bugs. They are good for gardens. For the most part, they are harmless. They are creepy, but they aren’t out to get me. Spiders remind me of the creativity of God. I am thankful for spiders.

Bills

This is crazy, I know. Just today, I repaired one car only to have another car go into the shop. And, today, I found out that my auto insurance for 2015 will double. DOUBLE. I’ve had to re-do my budget yet again. But those terrifying envelopes that come in the mail demanding payment for goods and services–they play an important role. They hold us accountable to the choices we make with our finances. They represent things we need that we have access to–like heat and medical care, all things we should be grateful for. They force me to budget and to be disciplined with what God has gifted me. I am grateful for bills.

Office Supplies

Sharpies. Good pens. Notebooks. Label Makers. Folders and binders. Organizational tools. External hard drives. Post-It Flags. Enough said.

Difficult Things

This life has brought some hard things. Some evil things. There are things that I have experienced, that I simply can not say “That was hard, but I’m glad it happened.” There are things that I am not glad happened. At all. And never will be. But those things do not mean that God is not good. He is good. And, the things I have learned about God’s goodness even in the horrifyingly ugly, are immense. Life changing immense. I am thankful–not for the difficult things, but for who God is in those difficult things.

Rejoice always, ¹⁷pray without ceasing, ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18