Scripture | All is Well

Friday Findings

August 31, 2018 By Shelly Durkee

Friday Findings

I’m a curious soul – with a wide range of nerdy and geeky interests, ranging from space exploration to theological concepts. I often find interesting items when stumbling about on the internet – and on Friday’s I like to share my findings with you!

Books v. Burritos

I absolutely love, love, love this article from Mary Wiley, over at books.lifeway.com. I chuckled at her comparison between the cost of a burrito and the cost of a book, and why books should cost more than burritos – but more than just amusing, I wanted to yell, “You are right, Mary!” Wiley examines why books should absolutely cost more than the cost of a burrito, and why we should be willing to pay that cost. I particularly love this: “Every word in that book was fought for. Every war-torn author chose to faithfully advance through the writing and publishing process not only when it was an exciting, easy to pursue idea, but even when it was absolute drudgery…..”. If you love books and writing, please take the time to read this: Books > Burritos

Reading, Education and the Good Life

Matt Mullins, Assistant Professor of English and History of Ideas at The College of Southeastern, delivered a very thought-provoking talk on reading and the Good Life, in March of 2018. I recently assisted in transcribing his talk, and was challenged by what he had to say about the literature aspect of the Bible. I’ve always been able to grasp the importance of understanding that the Bible is literature – inspired and holy literature – consisting of basic literature elements: narratives, history, poetry, etc. As a not-so-much-poetry-lover…..(I think I love the concept of poetry far more than I actually love reading poetry itself)….I particularly enjoyed his illustration of poetry in scripture, and how important it is to understand poetry, in order to understand how to approach poetry in scripture. Good stuff here; well worth the twelve minutes to listen to Mullins’ speech: Reading and the Good Life

Picture a Trillion Dollars

The “Information is Beautiful” site is back with a new infographic – golly day, I love infographics – this time, they help us visualize what a Trillion Dollars looks like. But honestly, even after viewing this, I still can’t even begin to fathom a trillion dollars. Heck, I can barely fathom $100. 🙂 : Trillion Dollars – Show me the Money

Reminder: There are Real People Behind News Stories

A very sad and disturbing reality in today’s world is that the extreme politicization and categorization of news has led us to be desensitized to the very real people and faces behind the news. Two articles/videos that I’ve come across in the past few weeks have driven home that point to me in ways that moved me to tears in both instances. First was this article and the video included, that captured recent reunions between North Koreans and South Koreans – in particular, this story highlighted a mother and a son who had been separated for 68 years. Yes, you read that right….68 years. You can read that story and view that video here: Mother and Son Reunite

The other was not a news story per se, though several news outlets picked up on the video. I have dear friends who are preparing to adopt for the 6th and 7th time – they are currently raising funds and planning travel dates for their adoption of two children with very special needs from Bulgaria. That sweet family puts faces to adoption and the importance of being an advocate for adoption, every single week when I see them at church. This video did the same thing, as it moved me to tears and reminded me of the importance of providing children with their forever home: Adoption Beautifulness

Book Review: The Life of Moses by James Montgomery Boice

August 19, 2018 By Shelly Durkee

As a child, the stories of Moses captivated me much more than “Father Abraham” or even Joseph and his coat of many colors. Sure, they were interesting…..but when my Sunday School teacher (who, by the way, was also my mom) would pull out the manila envelope containing the musty smelling flannelgraph pieces depicting the 10 plagues, and the parting of the Red Sea, and the pillar of fire – ok, well, the fire scared me a bit – I’d usually quit making faces at the red-headed boy in our class, or quit pulling my sister’s hair long enough to listen.

I never grew tired of it.

I also recall being allowed to stay up late to watch Charlton Heston in the movie “The Ten Commandments”, broadcast each year right around Easter. That booming voice, the burning bush, the Nile river turning to blood….that was good stuff.

And so was the Jiffy popcorn we’d make, to eat while watching it.

Moses was this almost “bigger than life” character to me…along the lines of Spiderman or Wolverine or Captain America. I was captivated by the theatrics of it all….but never really learned about the heart of this man, who walked with God so closely, until many years later when my life was in shambles, and I found myself echoing Moses words to God, when having to make some big decisions: “And he said to him, “If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here.” (Exodus 33:15) Essentially, Moses was saying to God that He did not want to take one step forward without God with him.

And neither did I.

And, neither do I.

When P&R Publishing requested that I review James Montgomery Boice’s book “The Life of Moses”, I eagerly took it on. I am so glad that I did.

I came away from this book with a much richer and deeper view of Moses – but, more importantly, when I closed the book after reading the final page, I realized that even more than learning about Moses, Boice’s words drew my soul into learning more about the God of Moses…and, my God. While the subject was Moses, we were pointed to God with every word, sentence, paragraph and chapter. God’s faithfulness is the real story here…as it should be, in the stories of our own lives.

Boice examined the story of Moses from birth to death…from Exodus 1 through Deuteronomy 34. There was so much material here, but it never felt overwhelming. Instead, his logical path of teaching flowed seamlessly, so that it never felt like a chore. One thing I appreciated in particular was Boice’s honesty – when a particular passage was troublesome or hard to grasp, he admitted that. When authors come at their writing with such honesty, it gives readers the courage and hope that what they are learning is accessible – if an educated and expert author struggles with why God allows something, or why God acts in a certain way, then when we struggle, too, it is not as discouraging.

Psalm 90 is an important Psalm to me. Always has been; I even sang a song written about Psalm 90 at our wedding. Even in the face of great uncertainty about the future, God has been, and is, and will always be, my dwelling place. Moses is the author of Psalm 90, and after reading this book and taking a close look at Moses’ steadfastness and hope in God, I find the words of Psalm 90 to be just that much more important to me. From everlasting to everlasting, He is God.

I’ll close this review with a few words from Psalm 90, and a quote from the book, about this Psalm:

Lord, you have been our dwelling place^[a]
    in all generations.
²Before the mountains were brought forth,
    or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

Psalm 90: 1-2

“Moses tells us, through his own example, that if we are going to reflect on life and death with any wisdom, our view of both must begin with God, the eternal one….Those who trust in God have an eternal, secure dwelling place on earth….if we are anchored in God, our dwelling place with Him is secure.” Boice; The Life of Moses

When Going Means Staying: Thoughts on The Great Commission

May 25, 2018 By Shelly Durkee

Bethany, her brothers and sister – hanging out at the Rehab Hospital

Uganda.

That’s what was on my girl’s calendar, for the summer before her freshman year of college.

When the announcement was made that our student pastor would be taking a group of students to Uganda to work with former church members who live and minister near Jinja, Uganda, with the Macedonian Call missions organization, there was not a moment of hesitation.

Of course, she would go.

It never even occurred to her, that she wouldn’t go. It never even occurred to her that she might not be able to go.

It never even occurred to her, that she couldn’t go.

Bethany jumped right in to fundraising, training and planning for the trip. While I have not been to Uganda, I have been to Kenya and various other locations on mission trips. Knowing a little bit of what the team would experience in Uganda – and, knowing a little bit of how God would use this team, I couldn’t wait for my girl to “go”.

It seemed to be the most natural and expected thing.

And, if that wasn’t enough confirmation, Bethany will be attending The College at Southeastern Seminary for her freshman year, starting in August. The Southern Baptist Convention has 6 seminaries, all of which preach and teach the importance of missions and emphasize the truth of Matthew 28:19-20 – but Southeastern Seminary is known for its strong emphasis on “going”.

A few weeks ago, she joined some of her team members for a road trip to Richmond, VA, to get their Yellow Fever shot. Currently, Yellow Fever immunizations are hard to come by; the US is experiencing a shortage of the vaccine. When one of the team members located an agency who had some on hand, the group jumped at the chance to knock this requirement off of their lists of “to-dos”.

A week and a half later, the unexpected happened.

I was in Canada, when Bethany called to tell me something weird was wrong with her legs. They were refusing to move right. She was at work when tingling and numbness began in her calf of her right leg, spreading up into her hips, then down into the other leg. And they weren’t moving correctly – they were “jerky” – she could take a few steps, but only with great difficulty.

Her brother gave her a ride home, and she tried to rest, thinking that the weirdness would go away. When it didn’t, dear friends took her to Urgent Care who sent her on to the Emergency Room, while I flew home. The doctor at Urgent Care was concerned, and threw out some scary and permanent words.

I felt so far away.

When I arrived at the ER, she looked perfectly fine – until I watched her try to take a few steps. At that point, I knew that something was seriously wrong. As the night wore on, her blood pressure tanked; she passed out and fought nausea. The doctors admitted her.

She spent a week in the hospital, receiving IVIG treatments while battling an intense cerebral spinal fluid leak headache and nausea, followed by a week at the rehab institute for Occupational and Physical Therapy, before returning home with a (temporary) wheelchair and a (not as temporary) cane…….

…..and, a diagnosis of Guillain-Barre Syndrome, potentially from the Yellow Fever vaccine from two weeks earlier….

…..and the directive from her doctors, that she would not be able to go to Uganda….

and a recommendation, that she not go to countries requiring anti-viral vaccinations.

Breaking my girl’s heart.

At least, at first.

She wants to “go” and make disciples…..she is called to “go”and share with others who Jesus is, as we all who are Christ-followers are. And those few moments when she feared she would not be able to fulfill the Great Commission hit her hard.

But once I reminded her that there are many countries and peoples group that she can “go” to that do not require anti-viral vaccines, her soul was settled again. Her youth pastor informed her that El Salvador – a country that our church has a connection to – does not require anti-viral vaccinations, and she was overjoyed.

She could still “go”.

Over the next two weeks, I watched her work hard to gain back motor control of her legs, so that she could get back to life as a senior in high school and participate in prom, her spring choir concert, class day and graduation.

But I also observed something much more remarkable, over those two weeks….and then through the third week. And now, into the fourth week.

I watched her “go” and share the love of Christ, without leaving her hospital bed.

Even when in deep pain, and struggling with nausea and fear, she treated each doctor, nurse, aide, and member of the nutrition and housekeeping staff with a smile, respect, joy and gratitude. She explained to those taking care of her that she was disappointed to not get to go to Uganda, but that she would still be able to share God’s love in other parts of the world. She kept her witty and sarcastic sense of humor, making all those around her laugh till our sides hurt – she was a ray of sunshine in a place that sees much more sadness and grief, than joy. She thanked each person who helped her, even those – and maybe especially those – who did not have pleasant attitudes. She gave the many flowers she received to other patients who had not received any. And, she asked us to purchase donuts for the nursing and aide staff.

I then watched her “go” to the rehab institute, for another week of displaying God’s character to all who came in contract with her….even to the nurses who gave her deeply dreaded daily shots to her stomach, and the ones who struggled to find good veins for blood draws, therefore needing to “fish” with their needles. Never once did she display frustration; instead, she thanked them, smiled pleasantly, and offered to share the chocolates friends had brought her.

The day she left, she once again gave away her flowers and balloons, to rehab patients who had few visitors.

On one particularly challenging day, she brought up Uganda. We talked about the team that would still be going and how disappointed she was – and then she told me she’d like to donate the money she had raised to her teammates who may not have received full funding yet. When we learned that the team was fully funded, she donated her portion to be used by the missionaries in Uganda, to meet whatever needs they may have.

In that way, too, she was able to still “go” to Uganda.

She loved her neighbors…her nurses, aides, doctors, visitors, mission trip teammates – and even Uganda, from far away……and also this mom, as I stayed in her room each night.

Bethany had displayed a deep understanding of The Great Commission by loving her neighbors as God has loved her (John 15:12), throughout her hospitalization and recovery.

Her spirit and actions over the last three weeks had reminded me that I, too, am to “go” every single day.

In my workplace, as I parent, in my neighborhood, at my church.

And, to the nations, through mission trips, like those conducted by 127Worldwide, or through giving to International Missions through our local churches.

And – I thought of other people I know, who “go” in both traditional and non-traditional ways…..The senior adult women who gather at my church every Monday to pray, “go” in those holy sacred moments….our homeless ministry at church take water and blankets and food and Christ’s love to those on the streets….and our students will fly to the other side of the world in just a few short weeks, loaded with soccer balls and energy, prepared to share the gospel in Uganda.

Each of these embody Matthew 28:19-20:

19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Two days after her release from rehab, I watched her “go” yet again, as she and three of her sweet friends sang an arrangement of the hymn “How Great Thou Art”, at their public high school for one last choir concert together. In doing so, they worshiped, publicly declaring how Great He is.

And in those moments, Bethany lived the truth of James 5:13: “Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.”

Then Sang Her Soul, Indeed

Joy

October 16, 2017 By Shelly Durkee

I never imagined that someday I’d be accepting a marriage proposal on a beautiful, fall day, high above the clouds in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

But that’s exactly what took place this morning.

Honestly, two years ago when this goofy, smart, kind man walked into my life, I had no thoughts of marriage. In fact, just the very idea of dating someone was overwhelming to me.

I’ve grown very stubborn, strong and independent, as a single mom, following my ex-husband’s arrest in 2009.

Ok, maybe I’ve always been stubborn. And independent. But facing the challenges that followed the devastation of his arrest served only to magnify and intensify both of those attributes. Where I was once just stubborn, strong and independent, I am now doggedly and fiercely so.

And I had no intention or interest, in marrying again.

C.S. Lewis – my favorite author – expressed it best, in his book “The Four Loves”:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.”

My heart had not only be wrung and broken–it had been shattered.

I was determined to not be vulnerable to that pain again.

Turns out, though, that God had other plans.

I first met Ken virtually, on teleconferences for my job. He worked in the field of cybersecurity, but on the customer side. His job was to make sure we were maintaining security compliance in the system we were building, for the government.

My first impression?

This guy is grumpy. And he does not like us.

I was still fairly new to the world of IT compliance; really, I had no idea what his job was–I didn’t understand all the nuances nor the role that he was in. I just thought he was a jerk.

And then, one day, I heard he was coming to work for our company.

I was astonished. Shocked. Dumbfounded.

Why the heck would this guy, who clearly didn’t like us, want to come work for us?

Well, friends, that just goes to show you that first impressions may not always be right.

I would later learn that he had the utmost respect for the company I work for–he loved working with our engineers, project leads and managers so much so, that he jumped at the chance to come over to the “contracting dark side.”

Guess I was wrong.

And, the first time I met him “in person”, he wasn’t at all like what I had imagined him to be. I had pictured him as this overbearing, self-assured, know-it-all guy.

That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Shortly after he joined the team, we had a team dinner in Hampton, and while I pretty much ignored him, I could tell that he wasn’t all those negative things that I had initially thought. But, really, I didn’t give him much more thought than that.

But then came the summer of 2015—the summer of our new United States Marine Corps contract. And with that contract, we attended some of the same meetings. We started chatting, getting to know each other. He invited me to dinner; I accepted. We slowly got to know each other.

And then, he decided that he liked me.

And then, I panicked a bit. Or, maybe more than a bit. Because I liked him, too.

In the course of our talks, I expressed to him early on that my relationship to God is and always will be first in my life, and that my kids are my world. My involvement in church is a non-negotiable. And my overwhelming responsibility of caring for my four amazing kids and continuing to raise them to adulthood must remain my primary focus. For now, any relationship we pursued, would have to be done with those two things in mind.

And while the kids would and will not need me as much as they get older and become strong, independent and stubborn young adults (I’ve taught them well!), my relationship with God and the importance of that in my life will never change.

He listened. Thought about my words. And didn’t waver.

In other words, I didn’t scare him off.

In fact, the exact opposite happened. He worked hard to get to know my crew. Respectfully, though–he never tried to step into a parenting role. He understood from day one that this was not what my kids needed. Instead, he got to know them as a friend—giving advice where it was appropriate. Encouraging them always. Cheering them on, in their accomplishments And goofing around with them. My kids are pretty protective of me–and he won them over. Ken became a part of our family–which is saying a lot, because the 5 of us are pretty tight-knit, a result of facing some really tough things together.

And church didn’t scare him, either. Instead, he decided he was going to go to church.

I’m a terrible person, friends.

I told him, “That’s fine, but you can’t sit with me.”

So he came to church, but didn’t sit with me.

For months.

But one Sunday morning, I looked at him sitting up there in the balcony, with another one of our coworkers, and my soul said to my mind, “He belongs sitting next to you.” So I motioned for him to join me.

And I’ve never looked back.

There is a lot more to this story–much more than what can be expressed in a blog post. There are the numerous hours that the men in my church have invested in teaching Ken about who God is, and what it means to be a Christ-follower. There are the pages and pages and pages of prayers that I’ve written, passworded and locked away–prayers about our relationship, and the future. There are many cherished moments, as I’ve watched Ken play ping-pong with Mark, give Bethany driving tips, pay for Tim’s dinner and cheer Keli and I after our first (and last) half marathon. There are the hours upon hours of deep conversations, settled contentedness, and loud laughter—and then there are (much less, but no less significant) the hours of tears as I’ve sat alone in my room, wrestling agonizing fear of the pain that comes from loving someone, along with the whole concept of divorce and remarriage, and grief that is to raw to share here.

But, through this whole experience up to the moment when I said, “Yes, I will marry you” this morning, I have often been “Surprised by Joy.”

Yes, I have borrowed that phrase from C.S. Lewis—and I am very aware of his meaning and definition behind the phrase–the deep longing for what can only be supplied by and found in God. But without diminishing Lewis’s intended use of the words, or his experience of becoming a Christ-follower which was so similar to my very own, I find the phrase still very applicable to the journey that has brought me to be on that mountain ridge this morning, above the clouds and below the sky that I hold so dear, with this kind-hearted, sweet soul whom I love and who I look forward to spending the years that lie before us with.

There is much joy.

So many times over these hard years, I’ve turned to the book of Job to find strength in the midst of hard things, and to preach to myself the words of Job 13:15: “Though he slay me, I will hope in Him.” And, these words, in Job 1:21: “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

And all those times I’ve wept tears and poured out my grief before God–about so many things, not just the loss of my marriage, but so, so many things that ache deeply–my focus has always been on the phrase “the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

But–oh, my soul–He has also given. He has given me so much–a community that has stood by my crew and I. A church family that has truly been family in their love and protection and care for us. Dear friends who have stood by us and who have not abandoned us. A job that I love and that gives me the ability to house, cloth and feed my crew, and coworkers that are friends and a joy to support. The ability to laugh, much. The deep blue sky that settles my soul. The gift of music.

My crew–all four of them–and the deep bond we share.

And now, Ken, my fiance.

The Lord has given.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.