All is Well

Before me, even as behind, God is, and all is well ~ John Greenleaf Whittier

300 Times

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Fear (2)

300 times.

Over 300 times, actually.

Over 300 times, God’s people are told, in scripture, to not be afraid.

That is not nothing.

Fear is an old foe of mine.  A familiar enemy.  And, with one phone call this morning, it reared its ugly head yet once again.

I despise what fear does, to my soul.  And to my mind.  Despise it.

In life overall, there is not much I am afraid of.  I have no real phobias that I can name.  I don’t like spiders, but I’m not afraid of them.  I’m not afraid of heights, I’m not fearful of new or unfamiliar places, I’m not afraid of flying, I’m not afraid of speaking in front of crowds, I’m not afraid of germs.  I never lock my doors (I wouldn’t recommend that, actually, now that I think about it), I would have no real fear of traveling to a dangerous part of the world, I am not fearful of losing my life or of being injured.

However, there are a small, small handful of things that terrorize me.

Maybe terrorize is too strong of a word.  But when in the midst of being swallowed by those fears, it doesn’t seem to strong.  I am all-too-familiar with middle-of-the-night-panics.  I am all-too-familiar with parenting fears.  I am all-too-familiar with the experience of jarring phone calls.

Such was the call I received this morning, as I wrapped up practicing the morning’s worship set at church, before Sunday School.

Fear is an interesting experience, in that it sharpens our senses when we are in the midst of it.  Or, at least, it can.  It can heighten our awareness, as we are “on edge”.  Sometimes things become disorienting–yes, I have known that to be truth.  But I have also know fear to cause an increased hyper-awareness of the atmosphere and surroundings.  Shadows on the wall.  Noises.  The hum of an air conditioner.  The musty smell of old books.  The ticking of a clock.

Time slows to a crawl.

Where is God, in those moments?

300 times.  300 times.  300 times.

God commands us to not fear.  He pleads with us to not fear.  He assures us and tells us to not be afraid.

If it were not so important to God, He would not have addressed it so much, in scripture.

If He were not aware that fear would be a constant pull in our lives–if He were not such a knowing God–He would not have addressed it so much, in scripture.

If He was not our only hope in the attack–for it is just that, an attack–of fear in our souls and minds, He would not have addressed it so much, in scripture.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:15

300+ times—-

Do not be afraid.

Do not be afraid.

Do not be afraid.

Do not fear.

But, we are human.  We are fallible.  We are sinful, even.  And when bathed in the sweat-producing, heart-pounding, soul-shaking moments of fear, it is so very hard to remember those 300+ times in scripture.  I know that full well.  I knew it this morning.

But, here is where I want to start to land, in those moments.  Here is where I want to put a stake in my mind, because those moments that have come, will come again.  Here is where I–and you–and all of us who refer to ourselves as Christ-followers should pursue with all of our souls and minds:

….That in those moments, when fear astounds and the shadows loom large and the clock stands still and our hearts pound and we shake with fear….in those very moments that we are so fully aware of being overcome with fear…

…that we will also train our souls and minds to be fully aware of our only hope in the fear:  Our Lord and our God.  Our Savior, who not only saves us from eternal separation from Him, but who also saves us from ourselves, and who saves us from our fears.

Or, maybe it is not so much that He saves us from our fears, as it is that He delivers us from them:

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

Or, maybe it is the exact same thing.  Maybe He saves us from our fears, because He delivers us from them.

All of them, if scripture is truth.

And, I know that it is.

Oh God, deliver us from our fears.  Teach us to trust You; even when swallowed by fears.  Enable us to trust you, because if You do not, we will not know how.  And in those moments of fear, make our awareness of  You overshadow our awareness of all else.  When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.  Psalm 56:3

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The Beauty of Storms

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Tim Challies does an excellent job capturing the idea of worship in the midst of a literal storm; fitting words tonight as many of us await Irene:

“This was the kind of storm Jesus experienced, not in the safety of a brick house, but in a little boat in the middle of the sea. And in a storm like this he opened his tired eyes and rebuked it. “Peace, be still!” And the storm heeded the voice of the Creator. Even wind and waves obeyed him.

Watching this storm, standing under the overhang by the front door, feeling the rain splash against my feet as forks of lightning split the skies—this was worship. I stood there in a long moment of fear—not the fear of terror, but the fear that comes in knowing my place, in knowing who I am, in knowing who He is, in knowing that even this is his handiwork. All around me the storm cried out of the power and glory and majesty of God. It spoke—it yelled and screamed and bellowed. It called for me to worship the Creator of the storm and the Calmer of the storm.”

Lost and Fear

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My crew and I are watching the very first episode of Lost.  They’ve decided that they want to watch the whole series.  We’ll see how long that lasts.

But this episode–this very first scene of the plane wreck, has fascinating implications for the concept of fear.  Of Gut-Wrenching fear.

Everyone reacts to fear differently.  Each character is reacting to the terror of the crash differently but within the realm of their personality.  There is anger, there is grief.  There is a need to react to improve the situation, there is debilitating paralysis in the face of the unknown.

“Fear Not” the Bible says–33 times.  Fear Not.  Fear.  Not.  A command?  A phrase of comfort?  I’m not sure.

Do you remember the last time you were terrified.  I’m not talking a little scared of a storm.  Or afraid of a needle.  I’m talking terror, the kind that wakes you up at night.  The kind of fear that creates sweats, chills, foreboding and panic?

C. S. Lewis wrote “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”  I think the reason no one ever told Lewis that, or anyone else that until Lewis was able to vocalize it, is because it’s a difficult task to pigeonhole fear.  And it’s a difficult task to pigeonhole grief.

But grief does feel like fear.  Grief is fear to some degree.  Grief is fear.  Because grief is loss-loss of the known, loss of the unknown.  Grief is that weight on the soul that can’t be shaken, and that within itself is fear–the unshake-ableness of grief.

Did Job fear as the evil one shifted him like sand through famine and death, through illness and disaster?  Did he fear, was he terrified in the face of very real grief, gut-wrenching grief absent of answers?

In the very first episode of “Lost”, Jack, one of the main characters, describes his theory on dealing with fear.  He allows himself 5 seconds and 5 seconds only to experience terror, but then when that 5 seconds is up, he acts.  Interesting practice.

This passage in Isaiah 41 speaks to the terror, the fear:

8 But you, Israel, my servant,

Jacob, whom I have chosen,

the offspring of Abraham, my friend;

9 you whom I took from the ends of the earth,

and called from its farthest corners,

saying to you, “You are my servant,

I have chosen you and not cast you off”;

10 fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Be not dismayed.  Be not dismayed.  I am often dismayed.  I am dismayed tonight–it washes over my mind and my soul until there is not rational thought, until there is panic.  Real panic that causes my heart to throb in my ears, that causes my hands to shake and my mind to fight sleep.

But then the passage says “I will strengthen you.  I will help you.  I will uphold you.”  There is nothing in those 3 statements that I can do for myself.  I can not strengthen my self.  Self-help philosophies make money but fail.  And I can not, I can not uphold myself.

But God can.  God can.  And I can’t.  I can’t.

Preaching to myself.  Preaching to myself tonight.

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