My Dwelling Place – and My Peace

It’s Memorial Day Weekend. A time to honor those who gave their lives so we can live in freedom. This was made more poignant to me this year, after a trip to Arlington Cemetary last weekend – row after row after row of white-washed headstones stand watch in their solitary assignment to honor forever and mark the death of a soldier whose body lies in its shadow.

While not over-the-top patriotic by any stretch of the imagination, I never want to forget why I am able to go where I want, worship where I am called to worship, read scripture unhindered, believe openly what I know to be truth, and associate with friends, neighbors, family and colleagues that are in my life, without fear of retribution, sanctioning, imprisonment or death.

There is much to be grateful for.

Usually when a three-day holiday rolls around, we pack it with all the things we need to ‘get done’ that we haven’t had time to do – cleaning out the shed, household projects, de-thatching the yard, catching up on mail, or throwing a huge holiday family party.

Not this year.

Our lives have been non-stop for the past three months. I have taken a new job with a professional services organization based in San Diego – a great career move, but not without the usual “Am I making the right decision?’ angst, or the “Now I need to come up to speed on these new projects fast!” anxiety. I’ve also battled some very strange sickness 3 times in the past 4 weeks…landing me in the ER on one of those occasions, severely dehydrated.

Additionally, our two youngest graduated from college two weeks ago – which meant a big family fun bash. So. Good. And the kid’s grandparents have been in town – always a joy to be with them. So much goodness in celebrating together.

And my ex-husband was released from prison, after 14 years.

It’s been a whirlwind of activity, joy, excitement….

….and also renewed grief and anger and a myriad of weird emotions, over the prison release.

There has barely been time to breathe.

So, we – my guy and I – have taken this weekend to rest and regroup. To breathe and to sigh. To bike ride and hike. I’ve taken time to remember who I am, and who God is. To gather my thoughts, to write and write and write, to settle my soul.

It’s been glorious. And that’s not a term I often use.

I’ve spent hours out on our very hot deck, under the biggest deck umbrella my guy could find – soaking up the heat of the new summer rays…soothing the tension in my neck, my shoulders…and my mind.

I’ve watched the birds come to visit our feeders – chickadees, bluebirds, yellow finches, Carolina wrens, hummingbirds, cardinals and so many that I cannot identify. I’ve delayed going back inside until well after darkness has descended, choosing instead to sit together among the frogs, crickets, and other night sounds in our backyard. I’ve also read mindless books. Interesting books, but mindless nonetheless. I’ve captured my thoughts about the last couple of months in writing and locked them away with a key.

A wonderful weekend.

A peaceful weekend.

A dwelling weekend.

I’ve thought a lot lately about the concept of dwelling. Not just living….existing in a time and place, but dwelling. If I dwell someplace, I abide there…..I am safe inside that place. It has become familiar to me – dear to my soul and a comfort to my mind. It’s where I run to, when tired, hurt or angry. Or when I am scared, uncertain, and overwhelmed.

But it is also where I go when I sense grace, mercy and joy.

My God is my dwelling place. He is my strong shelter; the rock to which I cling.

I recently came across Micah 5:4-5 in other writing I was working on. At the time, I was in the midst of the joyfulcelebrationangstworryoverwhelmedangrygriefproudbeautiful days of the past 2-3 months. Reading this passage was a drink of water to my, at that time, joyful yet fearful and worried soul:

4 And he shall stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the LORD,
in the majesty of the name of the LORD his God.
And they shall dwell secure, for now he shall be great
to the ends of the earth.

5 And he shall be their peace.¹

Micah 5 is a prophecy about the birth of the coming Messiah. It is words of hope to the weary and waiting Israelites. It’s a reminder that the Shepherd-King is coming…and that he will stand and shepherd…or care for…those he calls his own. It’s also a declaration that there is coming the ability to dwell securely, for this Shepherd-King is mighty.

In taking a closer look at Micah 5, I discovered that the Hebrew word for dwell used in verse 4 is yashabu, which is created from three words – yud (י), shin (ש), and bet (ב). These three letters together, literally become “the work of returning”.

O, my soul.

How often do I stray away from my safe place – how often do I finish reading scripture and praying, and then jump into my work day knowing that I am not truly abiding in Christ. How often do I try to muscle through the stuff; persevere where there is no need to persevere because He calls me to rest in Him – to trust Him.

I needed to be reminded to do the work of returning to the security within my Savior’s arms – even in the midst of uncertainty about the future.

Even in the worries of health and jobs and parenting young adults.

God has been my dwelling place. He is my dwelling place. I need to be reminded of these words sung at our wedding from the very depths of our souls, as we stood at the alter together as a family – all six of us – knowing what God has carried each of us through and knowing that He would continue – and has continued, and is continuing – to be our dwelling place:

You’ve been our home
You’ve been our shelter safe
For young & old to generations past
We stand in awe of a God so great
We stand in thanks for your faithfulness
O Lord, you’ve been our dwelling place
(Tommy Walker – Make it Glorious)

I love our house – but it is not my dwelling place.

Rather, my secure dwelling place in my God.

He is my peace.
He is my peace.
He is my peace.

Another Hebrew word often rendered “dwell” (though not used in the Micah passage) is shakhan or shaken. It means ‘to settle down’. I’m sure that it is referencing something like to quit wandering and find a home. We even use that phrase in today’s English – “They are going to settle down in Virginia.” Or, “I think they may be ready to ‘settle down.'”

But tonight, I take comfort in this Hebraic translation of settling down. I’m thankful to God, my peace, for using this beautifully quiet weekend at home, at rest, and in His holy presence, to settle my mind and soul.

Settled joy. Settled dwelling in Him.

Amen, and Amen.

1. The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Mic 5:4–5). (2016). Crossway Bibles. ↩︎