If you’ve visited my website in the past, you may know a bit about our family’s story – how our lives and world were completely shattered nearly 14 years ago when my ex-husband, a Southern Baptist youth pastor, was arrested for horrific sexual abuse crimes and sentenced to prison.
And, unless you are hiding under a rock, you are probably aware of the spotlight rightfully falling on the Southern Baptist Convention for allegations of sexual abuse cover-ups, lack of sexual abuse prevention training and response, and a myriad of other issues that came to light after a Houston Chronicle expose piece back in 2019.
What had been done in the dark, whispered about in the dark, hushed and swept away in the dark, for so many, many years – could no longer be hidden. Just as the Catholic Church was being called on the carpet for years of heinous sexual abuse, and the ‘Me Too’ and ‘Church Too’ movements were gaining speed, the Southern Baptists were – finally – having to face the evil of pastoral sexual abuse within their own ranks.
Take a moment to read this excerpt from the Houston Chronicle 2019 article titled, appropriately “Abuse of Faith”.
In all, since 1998, roughly 380 Southern Baptist church leaders and volunteers have faced allegations of sexual misconduct, the newspapers found. That includes those who were convicted, credibly accused and successfully sued, and those who confessed or resigned. More of them worked in Texas than in any other state.
They left behind more than 700 victims, many of them shunned by their churches, left to themselves to rebuild their lives. Some were urged to forgive their abusers or to get abortions.
About 220 offenders have been convicted or took plea deals, and dozens of cases are pending. They were pastors. Ministers. Youth pastors. Sunday school teachers. Deacons. Church volunteers.
700 victims. 700 beautiful souls harmed in such an indescribably horrendous way, by people they knew and trusted. People who could preach, teach, coach, and sing in one breath that Jesus loves them, and then in the shadows commit heinous abuses against these innocent children and teens entrusted to their care.
Houston Chronicle’s title for their six-part article could not have been more accurate – Abuse of Faith is correct. I know this from my own nightmare childhood experience—the evil and power of sexual abuse is dark enough and damaging enough that it can pulverize the faith of victims into dust.
Where was God? Does He see me? Is he real? Does he know my name?
Why did he allow such evil at the hands of people who can commit horrific sins and minutes later preach God’s word?
It is incomprehensible.
I recently sat down with Michael Howard, pastor of Seaford Baptist Church, to talk about our family’s nightmare. Seaford Baptist is where my husband was on staff as youth minister, when he was arrested.
And Seaford Baptist Church is where I still worship today – nearly 14 years later.
Why did I stay? Why did we remain in this community? Why are my children well in mind and soul today?
Here’s why: God used Seaford Baptist Church to help turn the ashes of shattered faith into something beautiful and God-exalting.
The link to Episode 1 of our story is below. Next week, in Episode 2, Pastor Michael and I will discuss the Southern Baptist Convention’s response to sexual abuse, and the need to drive the resources and response training to the local church bodies via the State Conventions.
We can not preach the gospel to the world, or say “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1)…we can not say these words, if we who are Christ-followers refuse to do whatever is good and right and necessary to protect the children who walk through a church’s doors.
Words cannot describe the empathy.