Thou My Best Thought

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of
knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
Philippians 3:7-8

Another year is coming to an end.

Like most years, it was filled with joys and sorrows, laughter and tears, peace and grief, success and failure.

For better or worse, I typically end each year with reflection on what has been, and vision for what will be. I have a routine that I go through nearly each year – cleaning out emails, cleaning house, prepping for new routines…new ‘resolutions’. I buy new office supplies. I review and reorder my lists. I spend some time in prayer…some time writing…some time thinking.

I don’t know what 2024 holds for me or for my crew, in theory. Only our Sovereign God holds those answers. But here is what I anticipate will take place:

My two youngest will graduate from two different colleges – on the exact same day. My oldest son will probably get married. We may downsize our house. The grandbabies will grow and change and keep us all laughing. Our church will grow and expand its ministry. Ken and I will take a road trip to Ohio to watch the total eclipse in April. The country will slog through another election year. Work will be work – and I’ll remain grateful that I have a job, but also will work too many hours, too many weekends, too many exhausting projects.

And, my ex-husband will be released from prison.

It’s a lot to contemplate, here on the brink of 2024.

I think that all of the things that I know 2024 will bring have me clinging a bit more tightly – with white knuckles – to the old, stunningly beautiful Hymn “Be Thou My Vision”.

Originally an Irish poem, today we are most familiar with the English translation by Eleanor Hull in 1912. The words are a prayer – a pleading with our God, and a preaching of truth to our souls. When I have the awareness of mind to be able to sing the hymn while also truly contemplating the words, it nearly always takes my breath away; and I can think of no better hymn to lay out our Father’s feet tomorrow as we close out 2023 and welcome 2024 along with whatever it may bring.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Oh God – I need you to be my vision, because when I rely on my own vision, it is cloudy. My vision is like the first part of 1 Corinthians 13:12…I see through a mirror dimly. My vision is distorted, but your vision, O God, is clear. You see and know. I need your vision to be mine, in the coming new year.

Thou my best Thought – by day or by night. Nights are difficult – it is in the middle of the night, that my soul is the most unsteady. My thoughts run wild, the worry is like quicksand, the nightmares unrelenting. Please be my Best Thought; please give me the awareness and strength to run to you, to give thought to your goodness. Your kindness. Your grace and mercy and salvation. Guard my mind, God – make your presence my light in the darkness.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

I love knowledge. I love to study, to learn. But knowledge is far different from Wisdom. And my wisdom is minuscule compared to your Wisdom, your truth. God – be my Wisdom. Let me lay my soul open to the wisdom you provide us in scripture – be my true word. Help me to hunger for your word, and that the hunger is not just Bible Study for knowledge – but rather, the hunger to study is to draw closer to you. I ever with Thee. Thou with me. Thou my great Father. I thine own daughter.

Thou in me dwelling. Dwell; such a beautiful word. It conjures up thoughts of permanency. Thoughts of home. Dwell in me, O God – and draw me to dwell in you.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

I need this reminder, Father – you along are my inheritance – not the hours and hours I give to my job. Not the striving for empty praise from others. Not the craving of approval from any person.

No – it is you, only. You demand to be first in my soul. Help me to remember that. Help me to have the right perspective in 2024. Help me to acknowledge the treasure you are to me – priceless. Beyond value. Precious. Holy.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heav’n’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

God – I can hardly reflect…or sing…this last verse without finding myself in tears. This world filled with grief and sorrows is not our home. Is not my home. There will be a day – a day where there will be no more tears. No more heartache. No more doubt. No more nightmares. A day when we – when I – will behold your Glory not as through a mirror dimly, but rather in your holy presence.

We long for that day.

But as we wait in anticipation…we cling to the words in this old, old hymn…whatever befalls, dear God…whatever befalls in 2024…the joyful and the grevious, the bright days and the darkest days….

….still be our Vision, O Ruler of all.