Tonight, about 2 hours ago, I sent my youngest boy off for his first–and last (he is a senior this year) Homecoming Dance.
He looked so handsome, standing there, letting me dry his hair with the hair dryer, asking me how to put his bow-tie on, and fretting over getting his shirt tucked in just so. He didn’t want to bend over and risk it coming “untucked”, so he asked me to tie his shoes.
As he was waiting for his buddy to pick him up (they were driving together, to meet up with a large group of friends, for dinner) I reminded him of manners–“I know this isn’t a “date”, but that doesn’t matter–you treat the girls with respect tonight. You make them feel special—open the doors for them, offer them your umbrella, pull their chairs out at the table. Be a gentleman.”
He said, “Ok, mom. Got it.” as he went out the door, jumped in the car, and drove off with his friend.
I then went inside, and unfortunately checked Facebook.
And doing so reminded me that the world we are handing our kids–my boy, the one I just lectured on being a “gentleman”–is so upside down.
I read posts from friends, pastors and “evangelical” leaders, dismissing Trump’s lewd remarks about women–remarks that, yes, he made 11 years ago–shrugging them off as “locker room talk.”
“It’s not that bad. I’ve heard worst. That’s “normal” (yes, I saw that word used) stuff that guys do and say. It was years ago, we can’t expect him to have respected women then–it was so long ago. People change.”
It makes my stomach hurt.
It causes me to grieve.
And I am angry.
If I were to apply that kind of logic to my parenting, then wouldn’t it follow that I am a fool to have told my son to be respectful of the young ladies whose company he will be in tonight, because–after all–boys will be boys? And girls–and woman–are objects to be treated as property, evaluated and conquered, not treated with respect and dignity, right?
This is what some are saying is “not a big deal” for the position of “President” in our country.
People. My friends. This can not be.
It calls to my mind, the words we find in James 3, which refer to the words that we speak:
The words Trump uses are essentially curses of women (daughters, sisters, mothers, wives), yet at the same time, he is quick to invoke God’s name, when it suits his agenda. An interview in June, with Cal Thomas, revealed Trump’s focus of using–and abusing–what he can, to get what he wants–even religion. (You can read the transcript of that interview by clicking this link: Trump Interview-Transcript.
These words on the tape are not something we can dismiss as “boys will be boys”. That kind of thinking has scarred thousands of us whose lives have been shattered by the nightmare of sexual abuse, sexual assault, and related crimes. Words that are shrugged off as “boys will be boys” and “locker room banter” absolutely can–and does–lead to sinful actions and evil crimes. I KNOW THIS TOO WELL. Whew. My soul.
Trump is not a boy. He was an adult when he made those misogynist statements. He’s 70 years old now. He was 59 years old then. He was and is an adult man, who displays predatory behavior. And absolutely does not belong in the White House.
I have many more thoughts on this, however I can not bear to see them as words written down.
And Hilary–I will not vote for her, either. For a myriad of different reasons, her pro-choice stance being just one. A thousand different reasons. She terrifies me, too.
They both do. I’m outraged by both candidates–and by both parties, for allowing our political world to build up as a climate of lies and greed and scandals for decades upon decades, only to dump us at this doorstep in history. I hate that this is what we are handing our kids for their future. And I want neither candidate as my oldest son’s Commander-in-Chief.
I will absolutely exercise my right to vote in November–in honor of those who have given their lives to give me that right. And to teach my kids that we have a right and responsibility to vote. And I have been and will continue to talk much with them, about the need to do what is right, even when it is not popular. And to trust God and remember that this is not our home–we are but sojourners here in this warped and sin-ridden world.
Yes, I will vote come November. However, I will write in candidates this year.
And while I have been accused of casting a useless vote (I have been told that, by not voting for Trump, I am endorsing and ensuring a win for Hilary. That is ridiculous.) I absolutely do not agree that by doing so, I am “throwing away” my vote. Not in the least. Not at all.
I fully recognize that the people whose names I am going to write in, will not win.
But one of the beautiful things about our freedom as US citizens is that I have the freedom to NOT vote for either candidate, neither of whom I have confidence in. And I, personally, can’t vote for either of the major party candidates.
I’ve seen too much in this life, to brush Trump’s words off as harmless “banter among the guys”. He is a childish man displaying predatory behavior. No. Never Trump.
And I take the work I do in support of our armed forces in my job seriously–as well as the sacredness and sanctity of human life, that I can’t bear to cast my vote for Hilary as President when, had I done what she has done (in her treatment of secured and classified information), I’d be in prison. No. Never Hilary.
But I absolutely will cast a vote, for my write-in choices. And I will teach my children to be thinkers and make careful and wise choices.
And I will pray. And speak against evil, when I see it.
And I will rest in the fact that there will be a day–Maranatha, God. We are so tired. We long for your return.
Gwen Bray says
Bless your precious heart! Thank you for being bold and brave, and speaking the truth! I totally agree with you!
Shelly Duffer says
Thank you, so much–hugely encouraging to read this tonight. And thank you for reading my thoughts; very grateful <3