When We Come to the End of Ourselves

Sometimes, we grow weary.

Not just tired.  There’s a difference.

There is a distinct difference, between being tired and being weary.  You know that.  I know that.

God knows that.

And, maybe he even created it to be that way.  To be different.

We push ourselves hard, through the days allotted to us.  And I don’t necessarily think that this is a bad thing.  Our bodies were made to expend energy.  To work hard in our jobs.  To give our best, to everything that lays before us.  To go to bed, tired enough to sleep.  And sleep, as a form of trust in our Father.

Tired can be not good.  But, it can also be very good.  And right.

Weary, though…..that is a different animal.

When we are weary, it seeps into our bones.  It settles into our minds, working itself to the core of our thinking.  Tiredness washes over us, but weariness invades us.

I love words; I often say that I collect them, like others collect baseball cards.  There is a word that I’ve “collected”, that I think is such a good accompanying word, for describing being weary:

Languishing

When someone is languishing, they are growing weaker.  One of the definitions for “languish” is this:

To suffer from being forced to remain in an unpleasant place or situation.

When we remain for any amount of time, in a weary state, we languish.  It is a form of suffering.  But this is where the definition fails, I think–being weary is not just being in an unpleasant place.  “Unpleasant” is not a strong enough word.

But “Hopeless”—that is a good fit.  A Hopeless place.

The Israelites knew this hopeless place.  They knew what it meant to be weary.  They knew all the things that we know today—fear, exhaustion, the lure and trap of their sin, and seemingly endless days of wilderness wandering.

That’s where they were, when we come upon the words of Jeremiah 31.  They were not just tired; though that was surely a part of the situation.  No, they were beyond tired–they were weary.  And settling into a hopelessness that must have felt like a tarry substance, around their souls.

And yes, this chapter is meant for the Israelites, and it must be read in that context.  But it is also meant for us.  For you.  And for me.

I find Jeremiah 31 to be a chapter that I return to often.  And, this week it is where I crash landed when hit with a wave of weariness that I feared would drown me.  The reasons are not important–they are no different than the reasons that threaten to swamp your hope, in your world.  It is enough to say that, by Thursday–o, my soul–my very bones ached with weariness, and I fought for breath.

There is so much, in this chapter—so much that speaks to my soul.  I see myself throughout the words here deeply.  For the longest time, it was a chapter that I couldn’t look too closely at; because it too closely mirrored much in my life.  It was painful to read.  It hurt.  However, today it is often where I go, when weary, because the words written there have become a balm to those painful, hurtful places.

I have learned, that there truly is grace in the wilderness. (vs. 2)

I have been redeemed, from evil hands that were too strong for me. (vs. 11)

I have mourned, deeply–and I have known the miracle (for, truly, it was and is miraculous) of having that mourning turned to joy.  (vs. 13)

I have known discipline from God, and the restoration that this discipline has brought time and time again. (vs. 18)

I have known shame (vs. 19), and I have known the shame-erasing mercy of God my Father. (vs. 20)

And I have known–and know, even tonight, the words of Jeremiah 25:

25 For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.”

I find it so interesting, though, that vs. 25 uses the word “satisfy”.  Why that word?  Why not something like “restore” (though the sentence does end with replenish, which is similar), or “give rest”, or “energize”?  Why “satisfy”?

I am not sure.  Certainly there are theologians so much smarter than me, who could give a much better answer than my feeble attempt.  However, I want to try, because the answer is important.

Why “satisfy”?

I think it may be this:  when we are the most weary, we are also longing the most–for relief, for rest, for rescue, for the “not yet”, in the now.

We ache, for a filling of the void in our soul.  We try to fill it with other things–with alcohol, with drugs, with drive and ambition.  We try to fill it with escapism and materialism.  We even try to feel it with “good works”.  But the hole is bottomless, and our longing is deep.  And, it is only filled by the one who is holy enough to do so–Emmanuel, the God who is with us.

It wasn’t the rescue from their enemies, that would satisfy the Israelites.  It wasn’t the provision of their needs that would satisfy their longing.  It wasn’t the Promised Land, that would bring them peace and joy.

It was God, Himself.

And, the same is true for us today.  It is only God, who will satisfy our weary souls.  He is the only one who can reverse the languishing we experience in this life.

Only Him.

Tomorrow, at our church, we will be introducing a new song to our congregation, from Elevation Worship, titled “O Come to the Altar”.  When we practiced it last Sunday afternoon (the first time I had heard it), I really “liked” it.  It’s a beautiful tune.  The harmonies are nice.  It’s unique, with beautiful words.  I was looking forward to sharing it tomorrow.

However, by Thursday night of this week, I no longer “liked” what it said.

No, I needed, what it said.

And, I needed the words of Jeremiah 31st, to be truth in my soul and mind.  And, because they are truth–because scripture is truth–I have clung to them with white knuckles; gripping the truth in my hands and soul and mind like one grips a branch as they hang over a cliff–like a vise.

And tomorrow, I will sing these words, trusting them to be truth both for me and my family, as well as my beloved church family:

O, what a Savior.

Isn’t He wonderful?

“O Come To The Altar”

Are you hurting and broken within
Overwhelmed by the weight of your sin
Jesus is calling
Have you come to the end of yourself
Do you thirst for a drink from the well
Jesus is calling

O come to the altar
The Father’s arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ

Leave behind your regrets and mistakes
Come today there’s no reason to wait
Jesus is calling
Bring your sorrows and trade them for joy
From the ashes a new life is born
Jesus is calling

O come to the altar
The Father’s arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ

Oh what a Savior
Isn’t he wonderful
Sing alleluia, Christ is risen
Bow down before him
For he is Lord of all
Sing alleluia, Christ is risen

O come to the altar
The Father’s arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ

Bear your cross as you wait for the crown
Tell the world of the treasure you’ve found

(Elevation Worship: Chris Brown, Mack Brock)