O, God, your mercy astounds us.
We look to scripture, and are reminded here, again in 1 Timothy, that you are the God who saves.
Yes, you are also the God who heals. The God who comforts. The God who sees and knows. The God who provides.
You are all those God.
But truly, those verbs are empty, if not for the verb “saves”.
Because we can be healed, and yet still be lost forever. We can be comforted, but to no end. We can be seen and known–our name can be known–but unless we are saved, the end result is the same. And we can be provided for in earthly measures, but unless our souls are provisioned with salvation, we are still apart from You.
And with you, is where we long to be. Even if we don’t know that that is what our souls long for. Even if we can’t define that longing, as C.S. Lewis so aptly described in The Problem with Pain:
“There have been times when I think we do not desire heaven but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else.”
Paul here, in his letter to Timothy, very nearly (or maybe he does) break out into prayer here, in the midst of his communication to Timothy. And, is that not, in and of itself, a beautiful thing, God? That writing Timothy, who Paul viewed as a son, about what God does and what God has done and about what God will do, would prompt Paul to prayer, shared with his “son”?
This saying is trustworthy. Trustworthy. What an incredible word, that is. These words can be relied upon. They will not be shaken. They will not change or lose their meaning. What was true before creation, was true for Paul and Timothy, and is true for us, today.
For me.
Jesus came into the world, to save sinners.
Paul. Timothy. Me.
O God, Paul claims here that he is the foremost sinner. And I understand why he says that. I know his story. But, O, I do not see it that way. There are times that I think, “Paul has nothing on me. I have far surpassed Paul. Far.”
My guilt, my shame, is weighty.
And I wonder, “Why? Why would God give His son, to take on sin, for me? To take on what belongs to me?”
And I can hardly bear the thought.
But then I read words like these: “16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.”
Mercy. Mercy that I receive. Mercy, that glorifies God, because the perfect patience of my Lord is displayed, and becomes an example to others that they, too, can receive that mercy.
That, God, is overwhelming.
I so often have said, in my life, “God, I do not want to be an example. I do not want to have lived the things I have lived, so that I can somehow be an ‘example’ to someone else. To be an ‘encouragement’ to someone else. To be an ‘inspiration’ to someone else. They idea still, to this day, turns my stomach. I hate it. I hate the idea of it. I despise it.
But this, here in 1 Timothy, this is different somehow. This is good. Right. Holy. It is the display of perfect patience and grace and mercy and forgiveness and miraculous, unearned love, all of which points as an example to others:
- In God, Alone, you will find forgiveness
- In God, Alone, you will find salvation
- In God, Alone, you will find mercy
- In God, Alone, you will find grace
- In God, Alone, you will find what satisfies the deepest longings of your soul
Oh God, the tremendous, tremendous amount of patience I recognize as needed in my soul and mind. And only you have that capacity. Only you.
It’s the words of this hymn here below, written in 1863, by Charitie Lees Smith.
You made an end of all my sin.
Your very justness is satisfied, because you looked upon your son, on that tree, and yet pardoned me.
Amen.
Amen.
Before the Throne of God Above
Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart;
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,
Risen Son of God!
Behold Him there, the Risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I am,
The King of glory and of grace!
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God
